meaning to talk to you about this for a little while now. Well, since I found out about the meeting, anyway. I guess now is as good a time as any,” he starts, and I already know what he’s going to say.
“I really like you, Luna. And if you were just an ordinary person, I wouldn’t have any doubts about our future. But you’re not a normal person. You’re so much more than just normal. You’re special and meant for great things. With you signing with this label, I’m afraid to keep this thing going between us much longer. You’ll be busy and probably touring soon. You’ll be traveling around the world and I . . . I’ll be here. I’m afraid this won’t work out well for us, and I’d rather break free now before someone gets hurt. Now, with that being said, I can and will be the band’s lawyer, but us sleeping together would be a conflict of interest. If I’m working for you and the band, then we can’t continue to do this thing we’re doing.”
I nod. “I understand and I’ve been feeling the same way. I’ve had a great time with you, Daniel, and if I were a normal person, I know I’d belong with you even though we’ve only been together a short time. You’re so different from all the other guys I’ve been with. But I agree . . . the longer we do this thing we’re doing, the greater the chances of one of us getting hurt, and I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to be hurt either. So, with the greater good of the band in mind, I would like to hire you to be our lawyer.” I smile and hold out my hand to shake. He offers up a fake smile of his own and places his hand in mine.
Six
Daniel
That was hard to do, but it had to be done and both of us knew it. At least if I’m the band’s lawyer, I’ll still have an excuse to see her, go to her shows, and dream about what could’ve been—something I’m sure I’ll be doing for the rest of my life.
When she walked in here, I was afraid something was wrong, and it was. She got what she’s always wanted and as upset as that made me, I couldn’t be happier for her. She’s worked long and hard and deserves this more than anyone. I think we both knew that it would be our last time, and that got to me. I lost myself in her completely. So much so that I did something I never do: I had unprotected sex without bothering to pull out as an extra precaution. Everything was just too good. She felt too good. The things we were saying about her being mine were too good. It was perfect, even if it was all a lie.
I agree to be her lawyer and we shake hands. That’s a long way from where we were just moments ago. I know this woman in ways others don’t. She’s worked herself beneath my skin in just a few short weeks. I’m highly addicted to her and have no idea how I’m going to handle the withdrawal, but I know it’s better to do it sooner rather than later.
When she walks out to meet up with the band and tell them the news, I feel that pull between us tugging. I almost expect it to snap now that we’re done, but it doesn’t. It only seems to gain strength. It gets tighter but stretches further. That makes me worry. I’d hoped I’d be able to let go once our feelings were out there, but I feel like I’m hanging on by a thread.
I push everything away, deciding to keep my mind off her and the band by immersing myself in work. When the day ends, instead of going home to shower to get ready to see her, or attend a Wonder Kings practice or show, I head straight to the gym and change into a spare set of clothes I keep in my locker for emergencies. I overwhelm myself by running five miles, then move on to lifting weights. I spend the rest of the night in the gym, working out until I can barely lift my arms. By the time I get home, I can’t think about anything other than a shower and sleep.
It’s been a week, but it’s finally the day the band is