Rocked (The Everyday Heroes World) - Julia Wolf Page 0,86
I don’t regret Ellie, obviously, but I made terrible choices under the influence. I guess I come by it honestly. My mom was a drunk my whole life—the town drunk. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve picked her up over the years. She was a mess, and often got real messy in public. She had men coming in and out of my and my brother’s lives—”
“I didn’t even know you had a brother.”
“He left town as soon as he could, leaving me alone with my mom. We exchange Christmas cards, but that’s it.”
“Jackass,” I said.
She pressed her toes into my ribs. “He is, a little. But I get it. There was nothing for him in this town. Our family had a bad reputation, our mom was a hot mess, and he was done with it all.”
“You’re here. That should’ve been enough for him to stay.” If I had a choice, I’d never walk away from Kat.
“I had Veego and his family. They were good to me. And my mom stopped drinking for a while after my accident. We had a couple good years there.”
“Only for a while?” I asked.
“Only a while,” she whispered back. “She started drinking in secret. I never would have left Ellie with her if I’d known.”
Realization dawned on me. “Holy shit, she was drunk when Ellie got sick?”
“Passed out, oblivious to her dying granddaughter beside her. So maybe you can understand why I reacted the way I did when we came back from LA. I don’t leave Ellie alone with Rose ever. She’s sober now, but she claimed to be sober then too. I will never trust her with my daughter.”
If I could have, I would’ve taken a giant scrub brush to the world and cleaned all the shit and muck from the earth. I would have taken my immune system and given it to Ellie in a heartbeat. I would change time, the atmosphere, reality to keep that kid and her mother safe.
Did I understand? Not in the same way Kat did, but my heart was hammering against my chest violently. It scared the shit out of me, caring this much for them. Knowing I was helpless to save them from all the what-ifs that could and would happen. Knowing full well I was one of those what-ifs—the dick who would most likely hurt them, make bad decisions, be the bad guy I was deep down.
“I get it. If you would have told me that day...well, I don’t know what I would have done. Flapped my arms to get us there faster?”
A laugh burst out of her. “I don’t know if that would have helped, but I would have enjoyed watching it.”
The doorbell rang, and when Kat got up to answer it, I scrubbed my face with my hands. This was heavy, the feelings, my heart. I wanted Kat more than anything, but I’d never make her pay the price to be with me.
We ate pizza on the couch, this time hip to hip, some Netflix movie playing in the background. My feet were propped on the coffee table, Kat’s draped over mine.
“Devon.”
“Yeah?” I turned my head to face her.
“You’re leaving soon, right?”
“Right. After the Harvest Festival.”
“Can we pretend until then?”
Knuckles under her chin, I tipped her face up. “Pretend what?”
“That we’re normal. That this isn’t ending in a week. Can we just be together and enjoy it?”
“Normal, I’m not so sure about.” I touched my lips to hers. “I’d love to enjoy you and be with you. Don’t know if I can forget about the ending, though.”
Her hands came up to my face, warm and soft. “Pretend with me then. Please?”
How could I say no? I’d spent the last two weeks missing her, going out of my mind to get back here, and she was offering herself to me. Maybe not in the way I wanted in the pit of my stomach, but the only way I knew I could in my brain.
Dipping my head, I covered her mouth with mine, my tongue sweeping into her mouth for a searing, possessive kiss. If I was going to play make-believe, she was going to be fully mine for the rest of the week.
She climbed onto my lap, straddling me and lowering her core against my erection. My hands slid under her shirt, pushing the thin material up her body and over her head in one swift motion. My lips captured her tight nipple, sucking as she rocked against me. Her skin was so