Even as she worked, she stewed. Each step was agony, and not because of her still-burning backside. That physical pain, oddly, seemed insignificant now. It was secondary to the pain of remaining silent, the pain of not allowing herself to confront this awful woman, so regal, so arrogant.
As the two women began their soup—pointedly ignoring the weevils in their bread—Egwene retreated to the side of the room and stood, hands clasped before her, posture stiff. Elaida glanced at her, then smiled, apparently seeing another sign of subservience. In reality, Egwene didn't trust herself to move, for she feared that any activity would end with her slapping Elaida across the face. Light, but this was hard!
"What talk is there in the Tower, Meidani?" Elaida asked, dipping her bread in the soup.
"I ... don't have much time to listen. ..."
Elaida leaned forward. "Oh, surely you know something. You have ears, and even Grays must gossip. What are they saying about those rebels?"
Meidani paled further. "I ... I ..."
"Hmm," Elaida said. "When we were novices, I don't remember you being so slow of wit, Meidani. You haven't impressed me these last few weeks; I begin to wonder why you were ever given the shawl. Perhaps it never belonged on your shoulders in the first place."
Meidani's eyes opened wide.
Elaida smiled at her. "Oh, I'm only teasing you, child. Back to your meal."
She joked! Joked about how she had stolen the shawl from a woman, humiliating her to such an extent that she fled the Tower. Light! What had happened to Elaida? Egwene had met this woman before, and Elaida had struck her as stern, but not tyrannical. Power changed people. It appeared that in Elaida's case, holding the Amyrlin Seat had taken her sternness and solemnity and replaced them with a heady sense of entitlement and cruelty.
Meidani looked up. "I ... I have heard sisters express worry about the Seanchan."
Elaida waved an indifferent hand, sipping her soup. "Bah. They are too distant to be of danger to us. I wonder if they're secretly working for the Dragon Reborn. Either way, I suspect that the rumors about them are largely exaggerated." Elaida glanced at Egwene. "It's a source of constant amusement to me that some will believe anything that they hear."
Egwene couldn't speak. She could barely have sputtered. How would Elaida feel about these "exaggerated" rumors if the Seanchan slapped a cold a'dam around her idiot neck? Egwene could sometimes feel that band on her own skin, itching, impossible to move. Sometimes, it still made her faintly sick to move around freely, as if she felt that she should be locked away, chained to the post on the wall by a simple loop of metal.
She knew what she had dreamed, and knew those dreams to be prophetic. The Seanchan would strike at the White Tower itself. Elaida, obviously, discounted her warnings.
"No," Elaida said, waving for Egwene to bring another ladle of soup. "These Seanchan are not the problem. The real danger is the complete lack of obedience shown by the Aes Sedai. What will I have to do to end those foolish talks at the bridges? How many sisters will have to do penance before they acknowledge my authority?" She sat, tapping her spoon against her soup cup. Egwene, at the serving table, picked up the tureen, retrieving the ladle from its silver holder.
"Yes," Elaida mused, "if the sisters had been obedient, then the Tower wouldn't be divided. Those rebels would have obeyed rather than running off like a silly flock of startled birds. If the sisters were obedient, we would have the Dragon Reborn in our hands, and those horrid men training in their 'Black Tower' would have been dealt with long ago. What do you think, Meidani?"
"I ... obedience is certainly important, Elaida."
Elaida shook her head as Egwene ladled soup into her bowl. "Anyone would admit that, Meidani. I asked what should be done. Fortunately, I have an idea myself. Doesn't it strike you as strange that the Three Oaths contain no mention of obedience to the White Tower? Sisters cannot lie, cannot make a weapon for men to kill other men, and cannot use the Power as a weapon against others except in defense. Those oaths have always seemed too lax to me. Why no oath to obey the Amyrlin? If that simple promise were part of all of us, how much pain and difficulty could we have avoided? Perhaps some revision is in order."
Egwene stood still. Once, she herself hadn't understood the importance of the oaths. She suspected that many a novice and Accepted had questioned their usefulness. But she had learned, as every Aes Sedai must, their importance. The Three Oaths were what made the Aes Sedai. They were what kept the Aes Sedai doing what was best for the world, but more than that, they were a shelter from accusations.
Changing them . . . well, it would be an unprecedented disaster. Elaida should know that. The false Amyrlin just turned back to her soup, smiling to herself, no doubt contemplating a fourth oath to demand obedience. Couldn't she see how that would undermine the Tower itself? It would transform the Amyrlin from a leader to a despot!
Egwene's rage boiled within her, steaming like the soup in her hands. This woman, this . . . creature! She was the cause of the problems in the White Tower, she was the one who caused division between rebels and loyalists. She had taken Rand captive and beaten him. She was a disaster!
Egwene felt herself shaking. In another moment, she'd burst and let Elaida hear truth. It was boiling free from her, and she could barely contain it.
No! she thought. /// do that, my battle ends. I lose my war.
So Egwene did the only thing she could think of to stop herself. She dumped the soup on the floor.
Brownish liquid sprayed across the delicate rug of red, yellow and green birds aflight. Elaida cursed, jumping up from her seat and backing away from the spill. None of the liquid had gotten on her dress, which was a shame. Egwene calmly snatched a serving towel off of the table and began to mop up the spill.
"You clumsy idiot!" Elaida snapped.
"I'm sorry," Egwene said, "I wish that hadn't happened." And she did. She wished none of this evening had occurred. She wished Elaida weren't in control; she wished the Tower had never been broken. She wished she hadn't been forced to spill the soup on the floor. But she had. And so she dealt with it, kneeling and scrubbing.
Elaida sputtered, pointing. "That rug is worth more than your entire village, wilder! Meidani, help her!"
The Gray didn't offer a single objection. She scurried over and grabbed a bucket of chilled water, which had been cooling some wine, and hurried back to help Egwene. Elaida moved over to a door on the far side of the room to call for servants.
"Send for me," Egwene whispered as Meidani knelt down to help clean.