thought possible."
"It isn't your fault, Reverend," she said, gripping his hand. "I recall that my father and grandfather each succumbed to the bottle from time to time. It is to be expected from real men."
"Heavens, no." His brow furrowed as he lifted his gaze. "I was referring to the sin of despair. It is the worst weakness of all, and you will help me to defeat it. I believe I have been abandoned by our Lord but not by you, my dear girl. You shall be my savior."
Grace swallowed with some difficulty. She wanted to argue the point, but hearing such heartfelt words, she let her head sink into his lap. She allowed herself to feel actual optimism at sitting so close beside him, until quite abruptly the stench of his traveling coat reminded her of the marketplace, of the poorest of peasants, of the sickening flesh and rotted stumps of limbs. Although she tried to will her mind not to imagine such things, Grace felt herself starting to choke and gag. Her head grew quickly feverish, and she thought she might faint. The dizziness was upon her, and the buzzing vibrations were quickly overtaking her brain.
She coughed into her husband's thigh under the filthy coat. The Reverend stroked her hair and then her shoulders with his large hand. She was grateful for the attention, although the coughing wracked her and made her ribs hurt. Her swollen belly shook, and she wondered if the baby could stand being tossed like a tiny vessel on a stormy sea.
"My dear," the Reverend said as her coughing finally subsided, "this is not like you."
"Oh, it's nothing," Grace said. "A tickle in my throat from the winter air."
"Are you sure? It sounds more serious than that. Have you seen Doc Hemingway?"
She brushed back her hair and smiled up at him. Because of the coughing, she felt certain that her face had more color than usual, and she hoped her husband would take notice. "Now, when shall we leave?" she asked.
A distracted air overtook the Reverend again, and she realized that even mentioning the road carried him away from her. But this time, she would go along. Finally, they would be together.
"Tomorrow," he said and stood. "We haven't a moment to lose."
She watched as he turned and strode from the room. Yes, she thought, not a moment.
Fifteen
T he following noon, Grace, Mai Lin, the Reverend, and Ahcho, along with several donkey drivers, set out from the compound. The servants had been in a flurry all morning as they prepared for an abrupt departure, but they were most professional and uncomplaining. Grace felt she should model her own behavior on theirs in this instance. Once on the trail, however, it was immediately apparent that she did not have it in her to be as flexible as was needed. She requested frequent stops, which were terribly awkward given the exposed terrain and the fact that she and Mai Lin were the only women in the company of a half-dozen men. Mai Lin had been right: a traveling cart would have been far preferable to a lumpy donkey back, but it was too late now.
In midafternoon, their party paused under a tree by a narrow, rocky stream where only a trickle of water flowed. Grace fell asleep right away, wrapped in a warm blanket on a rug set down for her on the rough earth. She was awakened only a few moments later by the overwhelming sight of the Reverend already atop his donkey again, the fur over his shoulders, the yellow animal eyes staring down at her. No wonder the Chinese did as her husband said: he resembled some mythic god out here on the plains. The light shimmered around him, and she could almost believe as they did. He was more miracle than man.
She clambered back upon her donkey after their altogether too brief rest, and on they rode, heading across the plains in the direction of the western hills. Hunched atop the beast with her arms around her amah, who steered it, Grace insisted that they keep pace with the Reverend. She tried repeatedly to introduce topics she thought might be of interest to him, but for much of the day, he kept his head buried in a book.
Although Grace tried to concentrate on observing him and keeping herself comfortable, she soon noticed a surprising number of people out walking on the dirt roads that crisscrossed the desert plains. She wondered where on earth they