but dammit, except for the sex, we’ve been acting like one for the past few months. If he wants me to give him more than one night, he has to give me a little more of him. He’s got to give me something to let me know I’m not going to wake up one day and find him gone. I’ve already lived that nightmare once and I’m not interested in living through it again.
He doesn’t answer me, instead he grins, and his arms slide around my sides as he pulls me down on top of him. His breath is warm in my ear. “Addison, I literally came up with that plan this morning. But it is such a fucking turn on that you care so much that you’d get mad at a little late information. And if we were having sex, I’d do you right here on this lounge chair.”
Yes! Desire slams into my body at the thought of Damian taking me right here and instantly I have never wanted to have sex so badly. In this moment I know, I want this—always. Us as a team. I’ve always wanted to be a part of a team; maybe that’s why I’m obsessed with reality television. People working together to make stuff happen.
Matt was supposed to be my team. Then Paige and Mia became my team and I love them, but there is a void that I’m ready to fill, a loneliness that has been crawling all over the outer edges of my heart for years now. I never thought I’d get here, moving past the hurt and betrayal that I’ve lived with for so long. Damian was right when he said I needed to have sex, life-altering sex to move forward. I haven’t thought much about Matt for the past two weeks. And surprisingly, my phone’s been blissfully silent. For someone who claims to have left his wife for me, I’d think he would work a little harder at getting my attention, do everything in his power to make me believe he really wanted me. But Matt is not a man who can be trusted, and I need to remember that.
He shifts so we’re on our sides, face-to-face. His hand runs through my hair and his eyes follow the movement of each strand falling gracefully down to my shoulder.
My hand rests on his chest, his heart beating steadily under my palm. “Damian. We were never a mistake.”
Bringing my hand to his lips and kissing each of my fingers, he smiles into my palm. “No we weren’t.”
Feeling my heart pick up pace, I need tell him how I feel. He needs to know that I’m ready to move this forward. “Damian. I want this. I want you.”
Desire fills his eyes, and his breath deepens, but at the same time I feel a restraint begin to seep in. “One day Addison, when you have no more doubts, when you’re secure enough in your life to take a risk on me, we can take this further. But for now, I think we should continue to take this slow.”
Cupping my face with his hand, he leans forward. His lips gently brushing against mine, his breath coming out in a whoosh as he gently parts my lips and slips his tongue inside. I moan deep from the back of my throat and press my body up against his, throw my leg over his hip, and try to ease the deep ache that has begun between my legs. His erection is prominent, jabbing into my gut as I move closer to him. I’m completely lost in this moment, his hard body lined up against mine, his soft lips moving so passionately with my own. My hands grip his biceps, and I move to take this further.
Groaning from deep in his chest, he slightly backs away and begins to nibble at my bottom lip, down my jaw and to my throat. “As much as this kills me, Addison, I’m going to ask you to go home.”
What? No! Shaking my head, I grip him tighter. “I have no more doubts, Damian. I’m ready for the risk.”
His slight smile tells me this is something he’s been thinking long and hard about. He sits up so we’re face to face. “Addison, even though we were drunk, I remember every inch of your body, every sound that came out of your swollen perfect lips and every place your tongue touched me still tingles with desire. That night was the first right