He’d headed downstairs instead of using the bath off Lily’s bedroom because he needed the time. Time and distance and space to catch a deep breath and suppress all those debilitating images again.
He rubbed his hand across his cheeks and jaw now, studying his reflection in the mirror over the sink. He barely recognized the man staring back at him.
The eyes were the same, maybe a little bleary after flying the red-eye and surviving his busy morning. The features were the same, if a tad on the scruffy side, since his last shave had been yesterday morning.
But the light was gone. The spark of confidence he’d once worn like his silver championship belt buckle had dulled beneath the weight of responsibility and guilt and regret.
He couldn’t get it right anymore. He couldn’t save lives. He’d always be a step behind, a minute too late.
He hadn’t stopped Jolene from nearly wrecking her truck. He’d barely managed to get her to eat anything other than the cheese and crackers from her purse. And he knew the only way he’d get her to take a break and get some rest herself would be to physically carry her out of Lily’s room and stand watch over her.
But judging by the itchy need that tickled his palms just thinking about the possibility, Nate had a pretty good idea that touching Jolene Kannon-Angel again would be a bad idea if he wanted to maintain a professional distance. Something about her stubborn ways fired him up. Something about those blue eyes and soft skin stirred an ache in his body. Something about her ultrafeminine shape and dazzling smile wakened him to possibilities he’d never imagined before.
But a man who was a step behind and a minute late, snared in the mistakes of his past, had no business imagining anything beyond getting his job done right.
Shutting off the water, Nate blinked and looked a little harder at his reflection. “You can do this,” he lectured himself. He’d delivered babies before, survived plenty of disasters—natural and man-made. “You have to do this.”
With a deep breath, he pushed aside fears and aches and wants and needs, and planted himself firmly in the moment at hand. Nate opened the door and headed for the stairs, leaving his emotions behind.
Lightning flashed, momentarily flooding the entry-way with brilliant white light, before disappearing again into the haze of the storm-shrouded afternoon. Thunder boomed a second later, rattling the windows and masking Lily’s sob from the floor above.
“Jolene, this isn’t right. She’s coming. I can feel…ohhhh!”
“Shh.” Jolene used soft, soothing words, gentling Lily in the same tone she’d used with her own baby after nearly wrecking the truck. That same tone gentled Nate’s raw nerves and helped the tortured images in his brain recede a little.
He hit the first step, ready to work.
“Oh, my God.” He lifted his head, instantly attuned to the hushed desperation in Jolene’s voice. “That’s a foot.”
A foot? Lily’s baby should be crowning by now.
Breech.
No wonder Lily was in such pain. No wonder the delivery was taking so long. If they’d had the right equipment, the proper facilities, he would have seen the problem before now.
Hell. He was more than a few steps behind on this one.
“Nate!” Jolene was shouting now. “I need you! Nate!”
Nate was already moving, damning his weak knee as he took the stairs two at a time. It wasn’t just the panic in her voice that urged him to run. It wasn’t the fear of losing another child under his care that drove him to Jolene’s side.
She’d called him Nate.
CHAPTER FIVE
“SHE’S READY TO DELIVER, but the baby’s turned around.”
Jolene met Nate at the door, searched his face for the control and confidence he had in such ample supply. She allowed herself one moment of relief, knowing he was there.
The tiny foot she’d glimpsed in the birth canal had frightened her. She’d been scared for Lily, for the baby’s safety. And for one irrational instant, she’d been scared for her own unborn child. She’d never before delivered a baby in breech position. Screw her independence, her need to succeed on her own terms. How could she guarantee their safety? How could she guarantee the health and safety of little Joaquin if she couldn’t even manage this?
Irrational.
Overwhelmed.
She’d cried out for help and Nate Kellison had answered the call. He paused in the doorway, grasped her shoulder and gave her a gentle squeeze.
Sweet relief.
Reporting Lily’s stats, she fell into step behind him as he dashed in. His limp was more