people, you did it.
You wanted to live, you lived.
You wanted to be free, you got on your bike and rode in the moonlight.
You did not drink martinis you didn’t like. You did not take a job your mother-in-law thought you should have. You did not take guff from your ex, not ever.
You did what you wanted.
You were free.
In all that was happening to me, all that I was feeling, all the disappointment of that night and the bizarre devastation I felt that the first time this happened, me on the back of a bike, I would have preferred it be with Joker…right then, for that moment, I let it all go.
I let it go, held on to Snapper and I let myself feel it.
Feel something rare and beautiful and overwhelming.
Feel something I knew for certain I hadn’t felt in my whole life.
Free.
Chapter Seven
He Gave Me You
Joker
Joker swung off his bike and headed to the Compound, his mind consumed—as it had been since that shit happened—with the vision of Snapper touching Carissa’s face, of Carissa smiling.
He’d ridden a long time. Long enough to get that crap out of his head.
But it hadn’t worked.
He put his hand to the door, pulled it open, and was not surprised to see that the party was over. The music was low, the common room had a few bitches and bikers passed out on couches, but mostly the room was cleared. It was early the next morning, the rest had either hooked up and already sent their bitches home, were still with their bitches in their beds, or they’d passed out.
“Dick move.”
Shy’s words sounding from his right made Joker turn his head to Shy.
His brother’s eyes were on him and one look, Joker knew the man was pissed.
Jesus, what now?
“Say again?” he asked.
“She came for you,” Shy bit out. “And right in her face, you hooked up with Stacy. Dick move, Joke. Fuck. Seriously.”
Joker stopped well down from where Shy, Tab, and High were congregated at the bar, High inside, bottle on the bar in front of him with glasses at the ready, apparently doing shots.
High engaged in this activity was not a surprise.
High had not been at the party. He had an old lady and kids. He liked to be around his kids, so it was rare, unless it was a family thing, that he partied.
Not the same with the old lady, the liking to be around her part.
Chaos history stated High and his woman had never been tight. He’d knocked her up and done the right thing for their kid, the wrong thing for High. Since then, it had never been copasetic. Joker knew her and she didn’t have old lady in her. It was rare she’d show at anything related to Chaos, sending her kids to the family shit but not showing herself, and she put up with her man so he’d put a roof over her and her kids’ heads.
So it was frequent when High’s kids were asleep that he’d leave the woman behind in a home that was far from happy, come to the Compound, and throw a few back.
He quit thinking about High and focused on Shy.
“She get home okay?” he asked.
“Do you give a shit?” Shy returned, and Joker felt his frame come alert.
He was not doing this again.
“Think I made this clear the other night, not your business who I fuck,” he returned. “But, just sayin’, Stacy was ridin’ the edge of smashed, the bitch has no problem drivin’ in that state, and so she wouldn’t fuck herself up, or someone else, I took her ass home. Then I took a ride. I didn’t hook up with shit.”
Shy visibly relaxed.
“She likes you,” Tab said softly.
She was right.
Carissa definitely liked him.
Then again, Carissa didn’t know him, so Tab was also wrong.
“She likes havin’ people in her life who give a shit,” Joker returned.
“There a reason you got a block about this bitch?” High asked.
Joker didn’t do this. He didn’t share.
He looked to High.
High didn’t share either. High was a hard motherfucker who kept himself to himself.
But High had once laid it out to Joker over vodka and brotherhood that home was no good. It made him miserable. And worse, he was worried the mask was slipping and his kids could read it.
Joker had been shocked as shit when the man shared. He’d also felt grateful. His brother giving him that said a lot about how he felt about Joker, and Joker didn’t miss any of it.
And he’d decided it