lay hidden in this place. Though, maybe wondering about that really isn’t the best idea. I’m sure the secrets this den holds would be far worse than anything I’ve ever seen before.
I’ve only been here for twenty minutes, and that’s more than enough time to realize how badly I screwed up. Well, sort of. I should never have come here. I never should have walked through the door and signed myself up for a lifetime of gang violence, but I had no choice. I had to do it. I didn’t take this decision lightly, and despite how stupid it sounds, there’s a method to my madness.
No one will understand, but hopefully, one day they will. I’ll probably have destroyed all my friendships before then anyway. If the boys knew I’d come here, they’d be broken. Standing with the Wolves is the ultimate betrayal. They’ll never forgive me for this.
How am I ever going to face them knowing that I stepped through this door with the intention to go against Nic? But, on the other hand, how could I bring a child into this world while up against a constant threat? I don’t know how I feel about this child yet, but one thing is certain, it’s half mine, and that means that I have a responsibility to give this child the best life possible.
Colton is where it gets complicated.
I’d do anything to have an easy life with him. He’s going to be the one who takes this betrayal the hardest. I can just see it now. Had I gone home and explained this all to him, he would have played the role of my white knight and he would have done it flawlessly. He would have told me that he’d take on this baby as his own and to forget about Jude. He would have tried to deal with Nic himself, and he would have done everything in his power to take my fear away, but Colton doesn’t know Nic like I do. Nic doesn’t like to lose. He will keep going, hit after hit until he finally gets what he wants, and I can’t bring that shit to Colton’s door. It’s already bad enough as it is. I need to face this head-on, and I need to do it with an army at my back who isn’t afraid to get hurt.
I have to end this before it’s too late.
There’s a sinking feeling in my gut. I know this war is going to end with someone getting hurt and it terrifies me. Hell, even if it’s Nic … no. I can't have anyone getting hurt. I should want Nic dead for everything he’s done. He killed my father and then lied about it. He held me while I cried and promised me vengeance. All this time I’ve wondered if I’m becoming a monster, but the truth is, the monster has been right there by my side the whole time.
Nic killed Charles in response to a threat. He took away my right to privacy when he covered the mansion in cameras. He sent the DeCarlos to our doorstep. He hurt me, dragged me down the stairs, and bruised me over and over again. And then comes the killer; he held a gun on Colton and then pressed it against my temple, demanding that I choose.
I honestly thought there was a good chance that I could have died in that parking garage, but I wasn’t about to lie to myself and tell Nic that I was still his special little girl. I was never going to ride off into the sunset with him and become his little gang wife. Surely, he must have known that. Colton is where my future is. He’s my ride or die … assuming I can get through this and assuming he doesn’t look at me like used goods when he discovers that I’m pregnant with my rapist's baby. He wouldn’t though, he’s too good.
Nic has to go down. There’s no other option. For my sake, for Colton’s sake, and for my unborn child’s sake.
Had anyone suggested such horrors to me six months ago, I would have had them committed. Never in my wildest dreams did I think Nic was capable of all of this, but everyone changes and everyone has their secrets. I nearly killed a rapist who was locked up in a dungeon, and Colton shot a cold-blooded murderer in his kitchen. I guess everyone is capable of shit like this. The question is, how well