because of my own fears. And still, he’s a part of every molecule of my being. How could he not be when I held a part of him next to my heart for ten months?
I have no idea what to do, I think wearily. And right now, I wish with every fiber of my being I could pick up the phone and call my brother instead of typing him another letter I know I’ll never get a reply to. I can just see how this one’s going to go. Dear Dean, What should I do? Jennings is in our life again and I don’t know how to feel. What kind of big brother tests would you run him through to make certain he’s not going to crush my heart the way he did before? Frantically, I try to imagine his voice in my head, but all I get is the impression of me, Kevin, and Dean laughing on a Sunday watching football while I prepared something in the Crock-Pot. My heart aches when I remember how we used to have so little, but the reality is we had everything.
Jennings turns off the engines. I’m lost in my memories as I remember Dean cursing over Jacksonville losing another game because we couldn’t get a decent quarterback to throw a pass. Suddenly, the headset that permitted us all to hear one another in the air is being lifted from my ears. Startled, I meet Jennings’s compassionate eyes as he pulls it away. “Did we lose you there, Mom?” he teases gently.
“Maybe for just a moment,” I admit sheepishly.
“All we need to do is get you unstrapped, and then we can get out of here,” Jennings assures me.
Refusing to acknowledge the disappointment his words cause, I nod before turning to tease Kevin. “Are you ready to crawl back into bed?”
“Yes, but it was so worth it,” he yawns. “Thanks, Jennings.”
“Anytime. I mean that. And it doesn’t have to just be at dawn.”
“Why did we go up, then?” Kevin asks as we climb out of the plane.
Jennings doesn’t reply until we’re all standing next to the plane. “There’s something magical in the air when the night shifts between night and day.”
“Do you take your planes up at that time a lot?” The question pops out of my mouth unbidden.
Jennings shakes his head. “The last time I went up that early, I took Jed. He was in Seattle for a quick trip and spent the entire flight telling me about the man he’d fallen in love with.”
“Dean,” I choke out. God, from my own thoughts of him to hearing this, it’s almost more than I can bear.
“Yes.” We could be the only two people in the world as he telegraphs his heartfelt apologies with his eyes as the morning sun streams through the hangar. Clearing his throat, Jennings breaks our connection to finish answering. “Life got in the way, son. So, maybe it was fitting the next people I shared this magic with was you and your mom.” He stares out at the morning sky. “Magic isn’t in flight. It’s returning to your wishes you made upon the stars by getting close to them in the air.” Almost embarrassed, Jennings clears his throat. “Anyway, let’s get you both back so you can get some rest.”
I don’t think before I make the offer; I just do it. “We’re going to sleep, then we planned on just gorging on junk food all day and movies. You’re welcome to join us.”
I don’t know who looks more excited about the invitation, Kevin or Jennings. But I know it’s right when Jennings’s voice catches as he asks, “What time?”
I don’t answer. I’m not the teenager who will sleep until tomorrow unless I’m cattle prodded out of bed. So, my lips twitch when Kevin declares, “No earlier than four, Mom.”
I turn to Jennings and rephrase Kevin’s order more politely. “Is four okay?”
“Four can’t come soon enough,” he assures us.
And I hate how my heart skips because I feel the same way.
Even as we head back to Jennings’s rental, I can’t help but worry. We may have landed safely, but why do I feel like somehow I’m going to end up crashing and burning?
I’m dancing around the kitchen singing along with one of my all-time guilty pleasures. My hips are swaying as I’m tapping the wood spoon against the pot of simmering chili. Putting it on a paper towel, I jump to the side in time to the music, twisting my way