into tears again, as she had ever since he had told her he was leaving. Again she wanted to beg him not to go, but surrounded by orderlies and assistants, and sergeants and brass, and Vanessa and Teddy, she didn't feel she could do it. He knew how she felt, and he had insisted he was going.
“Well, Doctor.” He shook hands with his brother. “Take care of my girls for me. I'll be back in a few days.” He was playing it down, after all the hysterics with Serena.
“Yes, Colonel.” Teddy's eyes were teasing, but nonetheless he looked worried. There was something about Brad going to Korea that made him desperately uncomfortable too. But like Serena, he felt that this was neither the place nor the time to discuss it.
Serena kissed Brad longingly on the mouth, and he teased her about her big belly. She was wearing a big flared blue gingham dress and sandals, and her soft blond hair hung down her back. She looked more like Alice in Wonderland than an expectant mother. Vanessa waved to her daddy as he went up the ramp, and a moment later the plane was high in the sky, and Teddy ushered them to the gate and drove them home. Serena took Vanessa upstairs for her nap, and came down a few minutes later, her eyes worried, her face strained, as it had been for days now.
“You okay?” She nodded, but she was strangely quiet, and then she decided to confide in Teddy.
“I'm so nervous, Teddy.”
He looked at her for a minute, wondering if he should tell her that he was too, but he decided against it. “I think he'll be fine.”
“But what if something happens?” Tears sprang to her eyes again and Teddy took her hand with an air of quiet confidence.
“He'll be fine. I just know it.”
But when the phone rang the next morning, Teddy had an eerie premonition as he sprang to answer it. He moved almost by reflex, as he did whenever he was called to the wards in school, but now as he held the phone he had a sudden urge to slam it down before he could hear anyone speak.
“Hello?”
“Is Mrs. Fullerton there?”
“She's still sleeping. May I help you?”
“Who is this?”
There was a pause. “Mr.—Doctor”—he smiled'—”Fullerton. I'm Colonel Fullerton's brother.” But the smile had already faded. He had a terrible feeling in the pit of his stomach.
“Doctor.” The voice sounded grave. “I'm afraid we have bad news.” Teddy held his breath. Oh, God … no.… But the voice went relentlessly on, as Teddy felt nausea overwhelm him. “Your brother has been killed. He was shot down north of Seoul early this morning. He was in Korea in an advisory capacity, but there was a mistake—”
“A mistake?” Teddy suddenly shouted. “A mistake! He was killed by mistake?” And then in terror, he lowered his voice.
“I'm terribly sorry. Someone will be coming out to see Mrs. Fullerton later.”
“Oh, Jesus.” Tears were pouring down his face and he could no longer speak.
“I know. I'm very sorry. They'll be bringing his body home for burial in a few days. We'll bury him here, with full military honors, at the Presidio. I imagine his family will want to come from back East.” They had just come for Teddy's graduation, and now they would be coming back for Brad's funeral. As the realization hit him Teddy slowly hung up and the tears began to roll down his face. He dropped his face into his hands and sobbed silently, thinking of the big brother he had always looked up to, and of Vanessa and Serena. And then as though he sensed something, he looked up and saw her standing in the doorway.
“Teddy?” She looked terribly pale and she stood very still, as though her whole body were tense and straining.
For a moment he didn't know what to do or say. It was not unlike the moments before he had delivered her baby. And now, as he had then, he pulled himself together, and walked quickly to where she stood, put his arms around her, and told her, “Serena … it's Brad …” He began to sob. His big brother was gone. The brother he loved so much. And now he had to tell Serena. “He's been killed.” Her whole body was tense and then he felt her slump against him.
“Oh, no …” She stared at Teddy in total disbelief. “Oh, no … Teddy … no.” He led her slowly to a chair and