knuckles kissing bone. Jarring you enough to rid you of any coherent thought. If you’re lucky enough, sometimes a bone will break, gifting you the freedom from the shitstorm swirling inside you for that little bit longer.
My uncle taught me the salvation physical affliction can offer. Not intentionally of course. But after Mom died, I was drowning. My heart was broken. My soul destroyed. My life had all but up and left me without a fucking direction.
Then Marcus hit me, and for that split second in time, my heart didn’t ache as much. Truth be told, I forgot it existed. Every depressive thought was replaced by the sweet agony Marcus’ fists rained down on me.
I craved it.
Physical pain; that I could manage.
Emotional pain; that needed to be healed in a way I will never understand.
“You’re up,” Carmichael shouts into the room, the sound of his feet moving away as quickly as they came.
Standing, I roll my shoulders, shifting from foot to foot in a pre-game dance that builds my adrenaline. Cracking my neck one way and then the other, I run my tongue around my teeth.
One full inhale into my lungs and I move from the stench of defeat and victory, mixed together so potently, it’s likely neither actually exist, not in this world.
“Lost me a lot of money, Shay.”
Carmichael steps out from behind my car.
Opening my door, I throw my duffle inside, never taking my eyes off the fucker. “You should know better than to bet against me.”
“You said you’d give me four rounds.” He steps forward, spit flying from his mouth as he yells.
I raise an eyebrow. “I said three and I have somewhere else to be.”
I hear footsteps sound behind me, but I don’t let myself turn around.
“Don’t make an enemy outta me, asshole.”
He lets me see the glint of his knife held tightly in his hand by his side. A silver spark glowing in the gleam of the streetlight.
I can’t tell how many of his cronies have stepped up behind me, but I’m not stupid enough to turn my back on a fucking junkie, irate that they lost tonight’s hit.
“You pissed a lot of people off tonight.” He steps closer again, making it known he has a fucking death wish.
“Nah, fuckface, that was you. Now put your butter knife away and move the fuck on,” I growl.
He laughs just as the barrel of a gun pushes against my spine.
I blink slowly in irritation. More at myself than anything. I had to know the dickhead would do something unhinged after fucking him the way I did.
“Big, bad Rocco Shay knows he’s about to see Mommy again.”
My eyes flash open. “Bring up my mother again, cunt. I dare you.” I bare my teeth, a threatening growl cutting across the night air.
Shoulders pushing back, my fists opening and closing in anticipation, I have no doubt I look like a wild animal. Feral and unmanageable.
He steps back in fear.
“Wise decision,” I snarl, right as the fucker at my back lifts his gun, whipping it across the back of my head.
“Fuck,” I spit out, grabbing my head.
Carmichael takes the opportunity, my reflexes slowed by the bright yellow dots dancing in my eyesight. I hear his feet shuffle forward, the tip of his knife sliding into my abdomen like a hot knife into butter.
Smooth.
In and out in one quick burst.
I reach for him, but the dickhead with the gun, dissatisfied with his first attempt, whacks the butt of his gun against the back of my head once more.
I stumble against my car; one hand clutching my side, the other my head.
Carmichael is off before I can even consider running after him, my body dropping to the asphalt, eyes falling in and out of focus.
I yell out after them, promising their slow and painful deaths, but the words are nothing but a jumble of gibberish.
Chapter Five
Camryn
“Camryn,” my dad warns and I turn my scowl onto him.
“No,” I argue. “When did our family become so entwined with the Shays?”
Parker clears his throat.
“No disrespect to you, Parker, but your relationship with my sister has absolutely nothing to do with me.”
“Parker is my family, Ryn, which means Rocco is too. And as my sister, I’m asking you to help,” Codi pleads and I hate that she’s playing on my loyalty to her. Can’t she see it’s because of my loyalty to her that I refuse to help?
“Are we all just forgetting that he tried to have Codi killed? That he charged Parker with shooting her. All