resist taking him to the restaurant where Cary and I had once been photographed together, in the hopes of getting caught by the paparazzi again.
It would serve Gideon right to see what it felt like.
On the cab ride over, Brett asked about Cary and wasn't surprised to learn that my best friend had moved across the country with me.
"You two were always inseparable," he said.
"Except when he was getting laid.
Tell him I said hi."
"Sure."
I didn't mention that Cary was in the hospital, because it felt too private to share.
It wasn't until we were seated in the restaurant that Brett took off his shades, so that was the first time I got a glimpse of the shiner that encompassed the area from his right eyebrow down to his cheekbone.
"Jesus," I breathed, wincing.
"I'm sorry."
He shrugged.
"Makeup made it disappear on stage.
And you've seen me with worse.
Besides, I got a couple good hits in, didn't I?" Remembering the bruising on Gideon's jaw and back, I nodded.
"You did."
"So ."
He paused as the waiter came by and dropped off two glasses and a chilled bottle of water.
"You're dating Gideon Cross."
I wondered why that question always seemed to pop up at a time when I wasn't sure the relationship would last another minute.
"We've been seeing each other."
"Is it serious?" "Sometimes it seems that way," I said honestly.
"Are you seeing anyone?" "Not now."
We took some time to read the menu and place our orders.
The restaurant was busy and noisy, the background music barely heard over the hum of conversation and clatter of plates from the nearby kitchen.
We looked across the table at each other, sizing one another up.
I felt the thrum of attraction between us.
When he wet his lips with the tip of his tongue, I knew he was aware of it, too.
"Why did you write 'Golden'?" I asked suddenly, unable to hold back my curiosity a moment longer.
I'd been playing it off as nothing big with both Gideon and Cary, but it was driving me crazy.
Brett sat back in his chair.
"Because I think about you a lot.
I can't stop thinking about you actually."
"I don't understand why."
"We had it going on for six months, Eva.
That's the longest I've ever been with someone."
"But we weren't with each other," I argued.
My voice lowered.
"Aside from sexually."
His mouth thinned.
"I understand what I was to you, but that doesn't mean I didn't get hurt."
I stared at him for a long minute, my heart beating too quickly in my chest.
"I feel like I'm stoned or something.
The way I remember it, we'd hook up after shows, then you'd go about your business.
And if I wasn't there to put out, you'd grab someone else."
He leaned forward.
"Bullshit.
I tried getting you to hang out.
I was always asking you to stick around."
I took a couple of quick, deep breaths to calm myself down.
I could hardly believe that now, almost four years too late, Brett Kline was talking to me like I'd once wanted him to.
We were out in public together, having a meal, almost like a date.
It was messing with my head, which was already confused and scattered because of Gideon.
"I had the biggest crush on you, Brett.
I wrote your name with little hearts around it like a lovesick teenager.
I wanted desperately to be your girlfriend."
"Are you kidding me?" He reached out and caught my hand.
"What the fuck happened, then?" I looked down at where he was absently twirling the ring Gideon had given me.
"Remember when we went to the pool hall?" "Yeah.
How could I forget that?" He bit his lower lip, clearly recalling how I'd fucked his brains out in the back of his car, determined to be the best lay he'd ever had so he wouldn't bother with other girls.
"I thought we were getting to the point where we'd start seeing each other outside the bar, but you ditched me the minute we got inside."
"I went to the bathroom," I said quietly, remembering the pain and embarrassment as if the incident had just happened, "and when I came out you and Darrin were at the change machine getting quarters for the tables.
Your back was to me so you didn't see me.
I heard you guys talking .
and laughing."
I pulled in a deep breath and tugged my hand away from him.
To his credit, Brett shifted in obvious embarrassment.