probably shouldn’t confess this to my boss.
“I won’t tell,” he teases, laughing when I roll my eyes. “Hey. I get it. I’m constantly pulled on, too. Someone asked Spielberg what’s the hardest part of making a movie. He said getting out of the car. As soon as you arrive on set, everyone needs something.”
“Well I don’t have that kind of demand, but I really needed to focus and prepare. With Takira going home, it was a perfect opportunity.”
“And your family? How’d they feel about you missing Thanksgiving?”
A bitter laugh leaks out before I can stop it. “It’s not the first time, believe me.”
“You and your family—you’re not close?”
“We had a falling out years ago, my sister and I. It drove a wedge between me and, well everyone.” I trace the rim of my plate with one finger. “Sorry. You don’t want to hear this and I don’t want to tell you.”
“Tell me anyway.”
Canon isn’t an easy man to read, but he’s never fake, and the curiosity and yes, concern in his eyes right now, is sincere. It coaxes me to discuss something I’ve rarely told anyone.
“I got engaged my senior year in high school.” I shake my head, wondering what that eighteen-year-old kid thought she knew about love and forever. “I know. It was stupid.”
“Not with the right person, it wouldn’t be. Jill and her husband were high school sweethearts.”
“They were?”
“Yeah. They went off to college, never broke up, and got married their junior year. Twenty-five years and three kids later, they’re still together, so I think it depends on the person.”
“Well he was not the right person—at least not for me. My sister? Now they were apparently a perfect match.”
“Wait.” He leans forward, surprise alight in his dark eyes. “He cheated on you with your sister?”
“And my sister cheated on me with him. They might have gotten away with it had she not gotten pregnant.”
“Damn, Neev. You had some As the World Turns shit going on.”
“What you know ’bout As the World Turns?” I ask lightly, as much to shift the focus from me for a second as anything else.
“I watched my stories in the student union at college. Best way to pick up girls. They assumed I was sensitive.”
“I bet that didn’t last long.”
“No, not for long.” He laughs with a shrug of his broad shoulders. “I was very clear about what they were getting and not getting. That hasn’t changed.”
Lucia’s warnings whisper in my ear.
Quickest way to get your heart stomped is to sleep with him and expect something he never gave a girl before.
Can’t say he doesn’t warn you.
“But we were discussing your soap opera. Your fiancé got your sister pregnant?”
“Yeah. And you know the crazy thing? I understand exactly what your mother meant about dodging a bullet. I almost gave up my scholarship for Rutgers’ drama program and stayed in Clearview with him because he didn’t want to leave and didn’t want me to either. I was prepared to settle for whatever life he thought was big enough for me.”
“His loss, our gain. You were made for the stage, for the movies, to perform. Anything that would’ve taken that from you couldn’t have been right.”
The hostess brings our food and drinks and we both dive into our meals, leaving my family drama behind, talking about the movie and politics and music between mouthfuls. My body revolts whenever I’m around him, all heart-pounding and weak-kneed, but when we talk, it’s the best conversation. There’s an ease underlaid with a steady hum of desire. I tried to convince myself that it was just me, that he didn’t feel it, too, that I was delusional, but the heat in his eyes, the strike of lightning when our fingers brush accidentally at the bread basket, tells me the truth.
I think he wants me, too.
“So did you talk to your family today?” he asks, when we’re almost done with our meals.
“To my mother briefly. It’s awkward at home because they have a child together. They married. They have this whole life, and I don’t envy it one bit. I would have been miserable as Brandon’s wife, but the hurt doesn’t go away. He’s just as responsible for what happened, but she’s my sister. It just hits different, that betrayal. His mother’s family is in Virginia, and sometimes when they go there for the holidays, I’ll go home.”
I drag a fork through the remains of my mashed potatoes. “Otherwise it just causes tension for everyone because they’re all used to it.