sleep now and again.”
Reed leaned his head back against the seat and smiled at Brandi’s complaint. “A wolf slows down when he gives up looking for a female who makes him want her. Casual sex loses all appeal as a werewolf ages. Physical relief is not worth the disappointment of not having the emotional connection. True wolf mates are highly sexual all their lives. That’s one of the many reasons losing a mate is so traumatic for our kind. You lose a partner in every way possible.”
“If I lost Gareth, I’d be a hell of a lot more than just traumatized,” Brandi admitted. “I’d go on because of the kids, but I have to tell you, his stupid cows would be history by the time I buried his ass.”
“Have you told Gareth how you feel about his cattle?”
“Over and over and over,” Brandi declared, grinning when Reed laughed deeply and from his gut. “It’s good to see you haven’t lost your sense of humor. Sometimes I think finding the humor in a situation is the only reason I’ve survived my life.”
Reed nodded as his laughter faded, but it left a smile behind. “I’m too old for her, but Katarina interests me.”
Brandi made a buzzer sound. “With that answer, you have officially entered the friend zone and will never get laid.” She laughed as she turned her attention back to the road. “She interests you? Do you realize how lame that sounds? That woman is fiery. Being merely interested will not get you anywhere.”
Snickering, Reed lifted an eyebrow. “I wasn’t planning to get an address in that zone. You have to admit that she and I have other things that demand our time and focus at the moment.”
Laughing, Brandi let loose a heavy sigh. “Now I feel sorry for her. Katarina must be crazy to like you as much as she does. You’re charming one minute and a total frustration the next. Any female wanting you better be damn good at being alone and taking care of herself.”
Reed lifted a shoulder. “I loved the females in my life, but it’s probably fair to say duty to my pack always evoked a greater urgency in me.”
“Of course, it did. You took your relationships for granted because you thought that was how things were supposed to work. Trust me, I know. I did the same. All you get though is a weak emotional connection that doesn’t sustain your relationship. I kept trying to do that with Gareth. He wouldn’t let me.”
“I wouldn’t call what I felt for my mates weak. I cared about them.”
“Didn’t you ever not walk away when you felt it was necessary? Did you choose them over the pack?”
Reed blew out a breath. “I was alone more than I was mated. If I tried to answer that question, what I say would only make things worse.”
“Did any of your mates leave a mark on your soul when you outlived them?”
Reed pondered the question as he recalled his mates. Memories of them had faded long ago. Travis’s grandmother was the last mate he took. Did he remember any of them? He remembered the warmth of his home and welcoming arms. He remembered the squeals of his children. He had loved them back to the best of his ability, but none of his mates had been his friend. He’d always borne the burden of his leadership alone, except…
A sudden memory of a very different kind of relationship covered him in ice. The loss was a wound that had never healed.
“There was an alpha she-wolf once. It was a couple centuries ago. I was between mates. She was traveling and stopped to stay in our village for a while. Her pack was being torn apart by multiple power struggles. She’d conceded leadership without a fight to the death, hoping to stop all the bloodshed that was happening. She stayed with my pack for nearly a year before she left.”
Brandi turned to look at Reed. He had a look in his eyes that he hadn’t had talking about his mates. “What made her leave?”
“Duty. I begged her to stay with me, but her pack came and begged her to return. Her desire to be their alpha was stronger than her desire to stay with me. It took me a long time to accept she and I weren’t meant to be together forever. My feelings for her differed from what I felt for my other mates. She understood me. I never realized how much it