Reaching Answers (Artemis University #8) - Erin R Flynn Page 0,75

me. He mashed his mouth down to mine letting out a growl when I didn’t respond. “I want you so much it hurts, but you’re not ready.”

“I don’t know what I am, Julian,” I confessed. “You switched gears so fast, it shocked me. We need to. I mean, we really should if we’re going to do this.”

“We don’t have to. Why are you so…” He lowered his forehead to mine. “Everything won’t be okay if we have sex, love. I didn’t leave you because of anything you were lacking. I got lost and I was coming back, but—”

“No, I know. I didn’t mean—” I blew a raspberry. “You’re such an idiot sometimes. Most of the women and gay men on this campus are totally into you. They watch you all the time. If you suddenly start wearing an aura muting charm, they will tell people. I won’t be the reason your mind gets melted when we can just have sex and I love you. I just—we can just get over this part and…”

Yeah, I really had no way of trying to smooth over blurting all that out when it was so lovely to say.

“I don’t know what I’m doing, but this is so sure to me. I can do this.”

“I know you don’t mean it as insulting as it’s coming out, so I’m trying not to get upset.”

“I’m trying to do the right thing to protect you, even if it’s fast for me,” I muttered. “Does that make sense? If we’re getting back together then I’m going to protect you too.”

“We are back together,” he growled, kissing me again.

I returned it, but I knew he felt how hesitant I was. I wasn’t sure about any of this.

Except I wanted him safe.

He leaned back and pulled off his shirt by the collar, which I always found so sexy and seductive for some reason. And then I got to see his more defined abs and chest for real instead of just in the dream.

“The heat in your eyes makes every fucking push-up, dip, sit-up, leg lift, and exercise I’ve done to tone up worth it,” he whispered, shivering as I reached out to touch the lines without even realizing it.

I blinked up at him. “I’ve always loved the way you look, Julian. I think I’m just shocked you could get this toned.”

“I think you just insulted me, love,” he chuckled, his face flushing as he ducked his head.

“I didn’t mean it that way,” I promised, touching his cheek instead of his body. I waited until he looked at me. “I’ve seen you eating all break, and it’s not only chicken breasts and broccoli like the human fighters I knew or movie stars bitch about when they get ripped. You’re not a bear shifter like Lucca or a dragon like Hudson. Hell, Zack and Ray aren’t as defined as this.”

“I went a bit far and I was a bit frustrated staying with you,” he admitted. “It was hard for me not to act on the dreams. I mean, I thought you knew.” He caught my hand when I went to pull away. “Don’t you dare apologize again. You did nothing wrong. I should have made sure. It was a mistake.”

“Will you show me the differences and things I should notice so I don’t ever make the mistake again?”

“Yes, and I’m glad you asked because I wanted to bring it up, but I wasn’t sure how. You should know that.” He leaned down and brushed his lips over mine. “I love you so much, my sweet fairy. I’ve missed you so, so much. Thank you for taking me back.”

I wasn’t sure what I was going to say to that, but he took me at my word that I was really going to do this and kissed along my jaw and down my neck. Then his lips worked all over my collarbone, stopping to leave kiss marks we both knew were meant to be possessive but would heal. My skin felt on fire as his hands slid under the towel and he opened it up like a present for him.

But my heart was still conflicted.

“I love you. This is right and we’re meant to be together,” he rasped as he kissed down to my chest. “I’ll cherish you. I won’t let you go this time, I swear it.”

I blinked against tears as I stared at the ceiling. I didn’t want to cry then—or ever really—but I couldn’t stop feeling so… Wounded. He had hurt me