Reaching Answers (Artemis University #8) - Erin R Flynn Page 0,71

artistry of the cooking and appreciate it. You value the people who make it for you. You enjoy the tastes and textures, and it’s happiness come to life in the simpleness of eating.”

I felt my face flush lava hot. “Thank you.”

He leaned in and kissed my forehead. “Thank you for giving me the chance to explain. It’s always bothered me I never handled that better and I hurt you about that.”

Me too. I hated we even had the smallest rift over that topic because I loved our memories eating together or taking baths with ice cream. I was glad to have even the tiniest bit of healing on the topic.

We sat down and the awkwardness didn’t get better as we ate. We hadn’t talked much when I’d agreed to get back together or since. We had, but not about that.

And I… Well, not wanted to, but I wanted to be able to. It made sense in my head.

Then something hit me. “Did you make your abs more toned in the dream? I thought I had and I was shallow.”

He choked on his lo mein, thumping his chest as his face turned red all the way up to his ears and down his neck. “Um, no, that’s the way they look now. I got it in my head that maybe you’d take me back if I was in better shape. I know you’re not shallow, but I was… I’d lost weight anyways, so I thought I’d get in a better routine to keep up with you.”

I stuffed my mouth with an egg roll so I didn’t admit how damn sexy that was. He was so confident and stylish, the chic Brit that everyone on campus drooled over that I couldn’t believe he did that to try and tip the scales so I’d take him back. He looked mortified I’d busted him on it, so I decided to be overly honest as well.

“The reason I wanted to do that in the dream was that evil voice in my mind told me that if I’d done it to you for real, you wouldn’t have forgotten me,” I confessed, feeling pathetic saying it. “That I wouldn’t have been so forgettable to you and maybe you wouldn’t have wanted to spend time with Campbell over me.”

“You never, not ever have any reason to be jealous any woman—that woman especially,” he whispered. “You weren’t forgettable at all, love. I get tunnel vision. Sometimes I would intentionally jump into a project so I didn’t bug you or be the weird one, and then I would blink and days had passed. I… I’ve always done that. I’m not good with people. I never have been. I’m awkward.”

He seemed even more embarrassed to admit that.

I had a different reaction. That wasn’t anything to be embarrassed about. “I wish you had told me some of that sooner.”

“Me too. You would have understood, but others haven’t and mocked me for it. They always tear the mickey out of me.” He shook his head. “And Campbell… I’m sorry for whatever you heard in her thoughts, but I never sought her out. We had meetings and yes, we talked magic at meals, but I would have talked about that with White or Edelman.”

I realized I’d been stupid. “She kept inserting herself but in her mind, it seemed as if you only opened up to her, and that was the perspective I saw when you were forgetting about me.”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, love.”

I nodded, the hurt not healing, but some of it lessening. It had faded enough that I could start to hear some of this. It might be sad that it took almost a year for that to happen but… Life happened, and mine wasn’t calm or easy.

“What else is on your mind? Something happened that has your aura all over,” he muttered as he handed me another container.

I was going to brush it off at first, but then I realized of the four men I was involved with, he might be the one I could talk to about this. He’d lost a parent. Sure he loved his mom and still had her, so Darby might be the better one, but given how messed up his family was and it all centered around their hunting fairies, that seemed a topic to stay away from. Always.

“How old were you when your dad died?” I asked, hoping I wasn’t pushing or prying too much. I hated when I felt forced to talk about myself,