Only my heart. “No. I’m fine. The calm after the storm.”
I didn’t say another word after that, not even a thank you for taking Denny before he could beat me.
He let me be and drove us to my mother’s house.
When he came around to open my door and helped me out, I was grateful, because I was suddenly so exhausted I wasn’t sure I would make it on my own two feet.
I didn’t have to worry about that either.
He carried me inside the house.
I had to close my eyes. It hurt too badly to be so close up against him, to feel his skin, to smell his scent, to look at his beauty, and know that I had given it all away. Given it all away for a lie.
Neil laid me on my bed after pulling off my jacket and scarf. He took off my boots and tucked a coverlet over me. I allowed him to take care of me because I was physically unable to do any of it for myself at that moment.
I rolled onto my side and burrowed under the warm blanket. I slept.
****
The sound of laughter woke me from my sleep back from the dead. I heard Neil talking with my mother. The smooth deep roll of his voice was unmistakable to me. Just something I knew which was buried deep into my memories of the house and our time spent in it together. He’d been there so many times, and helped cook so many dinners, that hearing him gave me a feeling of nostalgia—comfort, from such long known and welcomed memories.
So, he’d stayed here after my meltdown with Denny? I couldn’t imagine why he had. Maybe Mum had pressed him to stay and eat since he wasn’t able to the night before.
Don’t think about that night.
I checked my bedside clock.
I’d been asleep for four hours. What in the hell had they been doing for all of that time I wondered. Well, no, scratch that. I didn’t want to know. The two of them were peas in a pod and they always had been. My mother and Neil had no problem spending time together period.
I hauled myself out of bed and into the bathroom. Bloody hell, I looked a fright. Like a cross between a bush baby and Lily Munster: my eyes were so wide, and my skin so pale.
This repair job was gonna take an extra minute or two.
I went to work on brushing my teeth, washing my face and combing out the rat’s nest camouflaged within my hair. I decided on some yoga pants, and a long jumper in pink with blue piping at the neck, hem and sleeves. It was really soft and I could sort of hide in it which was exactly the look I was going for that moment. I pulled my hair up into an untidy knot and shoved my feet into my baby-blue UGGs.
In fact I’d love nothing more than to hide in my room for the next week, but I knew my mother, and she would never allow such a thing. Not when we had a guest in our home. I was surprised she hadn’t already been in to drag me out.
“Elaina?” She tapped on my door and called through.
Think of the devil and she appears as if by magic.
“I’ll be out directly, Mum.” I answered.
I sprayed on a spritz of Light Blue by D&G and took a deep breath.
Time to face the music. Or rather the Mummy and McManus foodie show.
I followed the sound of their chattering down the hall and into the kitchen. Huge surprise there. My inner sarcasm was going to have to take a back seat for a bit, I realized. This was not the time or place to let loose with it.
I watched them for a moment, working together from the doorway. I had to admit they were rather adorable as I listened in on their conversation. Neil had called her Mum for years and years, and was as much of a son to her as Ian. This was very apparent to me as I eavesdropped and observed, both of them wearing matching chef aprons, Mum with her hi-ball glass of G&T, and Neil with his Guinness.
I headed for the coffee pot and the cup cupboard.
“How was your sleep?” he asked to my back as I dumped sweetener into my coffee.
“Very much needed,” I said, shielding myself behind the enormous mug and taking a sip of scalding sweet coffee.
Mum came over and felt my forehead with the back of her hand. “Darling, I hope you’re not ill with some horrible flu. Probably didn’t help you were out walking in the freezing rain last night.”