“All of your things are still there waiting for you. Just know this…” I spoke directly just a few inches from her face, boring into her soulful eyes. “I have no intentions of letting you go.” I swallowed hard. “If you come with me you’re signing on for all of me, Brynne. I don’t know any other way to be with you. It’s all in for me. And I want it to be all in for you too.”
“All in?” She brought her palm to my cheek and held it there, her questioning look so genuine.
I turned my lips to press them into the palm of her hand as she held my face. “A poker term. Means to bet everything you have on the cards you’re holding. You’re what I’m holding.”
She closed her eyes again and her lip trembled slightly. “I haven’t even told you all of it. There’s more.” She took her hand away.
“Open your eyes and look at me.” I said it gently but very firm.
She complied instantly and I had to stifle a groan for how much her gesture aroused me. “I don’t care whatever it is you haven’t told me or even what you just told me in the restaurant.” I shook my head a little to make her understand. “It won’t change how I feel. I know we’ll talk some more and you can tell me the rest when you’re able…or when you need to. I’ll hear it. I need to hear everything anyway so I can make sure you’re kept safe. Which I will do, I promise you, Brynne.”
“Oh, Ethan—” Her bottom lip quivered as she looked over at me, as beautiful in her sadness as she was when she was happy.
I could see Brynne was worried about many things—sharing her past, my reaction to her past, the possible threats to her safety in London, my feelings—and I so desperately wanted to erase that worry from her expression if I could. I wished for her to be free from her burdens and left alone to live her life, hopefully with me in there somewhere. I’d never meant a promise more so than right now either. I would keep her safe, but I also wanted to make sure she understood what she would be getting in agreeing to come home with me.
“But no more running from me, Brynne. If you need a break that’s fine, I’ll respect it and give you some space. But I have to be able to come to you and see you, and know that you won’t take off again...or shut me out.” I brushed her lips with my thumb. “That’s what I need from you, baby. Can you do that?”
She started breathing harder, her chest moving her br**sts up and down in that tight turquoise top, her eyes flickering as she contemplated. I could tell she was scared but Brynne had to learn to trust me if we had any chance at all together. I gambled on the hope she would take my offer. I hardly knew what to do if she didn’t though. Fall apart? Become a real stalker? Sign up for psychotherapy?
“But—I find it so hard to trust in a relationship. You’ve gotten farther than anyone ever has before. For the first time I’ve had to choose between a complex, scary relationship and being safely uncomplicated…and alone.”
I groaned and gripped her a little tighter. “I know you’re scared but I want you to give us a chance anyway. You’re not meant to be alone. You’re meant to be with me.” My words came out a little hard but it was too late to pull them back.
Brynne surprised me by smiling a little and shaking her head at me. “You’re something else, Ethan Blackstone. Were you always like this?”
“Like what?”
“So demanding, blunt and direct.”
I shrugged. “I guess. I don’t know. I just know how I am with you. I want things with you I’ve not wanted before. I want you and that’s all I know. Right now I want you to come home with me and be together. And I’ll just take the promise that you won’t leave at the first sign of trouble. You’ll give me the opportunity to make it right and not close me out.” I held her shoulders with both hands. “I can be understanding if you’ll tell me what you need from me. I want to give you whatever it is you need, Brynne.” I rubbed with my thumbs at the base of her neck, the soft skin under my fingers magnetized as soon as I began touching her. Once I got a feel of her again I didn’t want to give her up.
She tilted her head back and closed her eyes for an instant, succumbing to our attraction and giving me some hope. She said one word. My name. “…Ethan.”
“I think I know what that is too. You just have to trust me to give it to you.” I gripped a little tighter. “Choose me. Choose us.”
She shivered. I saw it happen and felt it too. She nodded and mouthed the words, “All right. I promise I won’t run again.”
I kissed her slowly, my hands moving up to hold her face secure. I pushed my tongue between her sweet lips and praise the angels, she let me in. Yes. She allowed me passage and kissed me back, her warm silky tongue sliding against mine. Jackpot. I knew I’d won this round—I wanted to slap the felt and give a silent thank you up to my mum in heaven.
I kept plundering Brynne’s mouth instead. I let her know everything in that kiss, taking her lips, grazing with my teeth, trying to get inside her. The deeper I got in, the harder it would be for her to leave me again. That’s how my mind worked with her. This was battle strategy and I could do this all day. There would be no running away from me anymore, no hiding, no quarter given. She would be mine and let me love her.
Brynne melted under my lips, grew soft and submissive, found the place she needed and drew comfort in, just as I did in taking control. It worked for us—very, very well. I pulled back and sighed deeply. “Let’s go home now.”
“What happened to taking things slow?” she asked softly.
“All in, baby,” I whispered, “it can’t be any other way with us.” If she only knew the thoughts I had on my mind for the future she might have got skittish with me again and I couldn’t risk it just yet. There would be time enough for that discussion later.
“We have a lot to talk about still,” she told me.
“So we’ll do a lot of talking.” Along with other things.
She turned in her seat and leaned back, getting comfortable and just looked at me as I pulled out of the parking lot. She watched me throughout the trip. I liked having her eyes on me. No, I f**king loved it. I loved that she was next to me looking like she wanted me as much as I wanted her. I looked at her too when I could take my eyes off the road.
“All in, huh? I think I have to learn how to play poker.”
I laughed. “Oh, I’m so on board with that. Somehow I think you’ll be a natural, sweetheart.” I wiggled my eyebrows. “Strip poker first?”
“I was waiting for you to bring that up. Nice to know you didn’t disappoint me,” she said, rolling her eyes.