Sir Dace said with an apologetic shake of the head. Vesna’s oldest friend took a pace forward and pushed aside the Mortal-Aspect’s raised sword. ‘It’s no joke. You’ve been sitting here for more’n a week, and we won’t take it any more. Whether the words were spoken or not, you were married to Tila, and I swore to stand sentinel to that marriage.’
‘There’s no honour to defend now,’ Vesna whispered, dropping his sword. Dace stepped forward and slipped a shoulder under his friend’s arm.
‘Yes, there is,’ Dace said, his face tightening, ‘yours and hers. You think she’d want this? You think this is the memorial she deserves? A hero crippled with grief? A man both blessed and useless in one?’
Vesna shook his head. ‘What Tila would want?’ he whispered. ‘She’s dead, Dace, she doesn’t want anything now, and I — I can’t go on, not this way.’
‘No,’ Carel declared. ‘No, you can’t go on this way. I don’t agree with what you’ve done to yourself, but it’s done, and if your wife could accept it, so can and must I. And she did accept it, wholeheartedly and without reservation. She knew she’d be sharing you with Lord Karkarn, and there was never one word of complaint, not even after you left with the crusade. It was the duty you felt, the duty you chose, and she would never have stood in the way o’ that.’
‘You made her proud,’ Dace said, his voice soft, ‘so damned proud I could hardly believe it. You’re my best friend, and the finest soldier I ever met, and I’m proud to have served with you and fought alongside you - you know that. But for Lady Tila, it wasn’t just that. You were far more to her than your skill with a blade, much more, and I’d rather die than see you disappoint her that way. I won’t allow you to be less than the man she believed you to be.’
Tears were streaming down Vesna’s face, every time Tila’s name mentioned hitting him like a punch in the belly. In his mind he could see her, looking at him from the doorway, seeing the state of him now: hair matted and greasy, earrings of rank discarded, his body rank, his clothes filthy and stinking. ‘I don’t have the strength,’ he mumbled, ‘I don’t know what to do.’
‘You do your duty,’ Carel said gravely, ‘for better or worse, you do your duty. Karkarn’s your lord now, and Isak showed you the path. You make your fear and your pain a part of you; you use them as weapons, if what’s needed.’
Vesna sagged, leaning heavily on Dace. ‘How?’ he asked. ‘I don’t even know where to start.’
Carel and Sir Dace exchanged looks. ‘You start with a bath,’ they said together.
‘Ah, Vesna,’ the Chief Steward said, seeing the door to his office open, ‘do come in.’ He gestured to one of the chairs. ‘Please, have a seat.’
‘What do you want, Lesarl?’
The Chief Steward gave him an appraising look. The count still looked ragged around the edges, but it was a vast improvement on the wreck of a man Lesarl had tried to speak to a few days before.
‘What have you done with my clothes?’ Vesna continued, doing a poor job of hiding his mounting anger, but if Lesarl noticed it he gave no sign.
‘I removed them,’ Lesarl said eventually, sitting down behind his desk. There were leather-wrapped files scattered everywhere, but Lesarl didn’t take his eyes off Vesna as he reached out and touched one of the files with two fingers. ‘They are the accoutrements of a count of the Farlan, and legally you cannot possibly be that.’
‘You stole my clothes?’ Vesna gestured at the dark grey brigandine he wore, far plainer than anything he would normally wear in the palace. The only detail was a small bronze pin on the collar bearing Karkarn’s device.
‘And your earrings,’ Lesarl replied brightly.
Vesna’s black-iron-clad fingers flexed. ‘You think now’s the time for this conversation?’
‘I am bound to enforce the law,’ Lesarl said by way of reply. ‘Naturally the cults are demanding all your worldly possessions and deeds now belong to them, but given the unusual circumstances, it will be easy to delay any ruling for as long as you need.’
‘Need?’
Lesarl again pointed to the chair. ‘Please, Vesna - sit.’ When at last the Mortal-Aspect of Karkarn did, Lesarl continued, ‘Your title and noble possessions will be held by the Lord of the Farlan until such a time as you express a