lighthouse?’ She sat upright in her seat and stared hard at the building they were heading towards.
He nodded. ‘Reactivated after it was restored a few years ago,’ he said, glad to focus on something that wasn’t personal. ‘There are a few private towers along the coastline here—this is one of them. It’s not neon, but it is a flashing light. A pretty big one.’
‘Is it yours?’
‘Yeah.’
‘That’s amazing.’ Her face lit up before the lamplight even got to it.
But that bitterness swirling inside him had lodged deep. ‘You’re not just finding something positive to say?’
‘No! Alvaro, this is the coolest thing ever.’ She looked back at him and all the light a man could ever want shone in her eyes. ‘It’s beautiful.’
‘It is not a palace, Jade.’ He half laughed. But her excitement broke through and pleased him an inordinate amount.
‘I don’t need a palace. I’ve spent too long in one of those already.’
And she would be going back to it soon. At least she wasn’t going to marry some unworthy aristocrat now. But he half wished she were—that would make her completely forbidden again.
He gripped the wheel, glad of the cover of darkness.
‘It’s beautiful,’ she muttered again softly, leaning forward to see better as he drove down the narrow private road. His road. And for the first time, he wasn’t travelling it alone.
The beacon guided him. It had always been a source of peace—like a sanctuary. And it had been gut instinct to bring her with him—that undeniable certainty that she shouldn’t be alone this Christmas. Even though he had little to offer her really. But to make up for that, he’d arranged a couple of Christmassy things that he couldn’t face right now.
But the reason why he couldn’t face them was the truth he needed to avoid even more.
He couldn’t bear to think any more. Or talk. Or do anything other than survive. Because as he parked the car, finally home, he was barely hanging onto his self-control.
Jade walked to the lighthouse cottage beside him, aware of a terrible tension within him and not understanding why it had suddenly sprung. In silence he swiftly unlocked the door and ushered her in. Aside from the beaming beacon itself, the only other light was from the Christmas tree at the end of the short hallway, so she still couldn’t see his face properly. She really needed to see him. But before she could say anything, he caught her hand.
‘Come up to the tower,’ he muttered.
She followed him up the curling staircase that had been tucked to the left of the door. Around and around she climbed higher, her pulse rising too with every step. It was narrow up there, but—
‘This is incredible,’ she breathed as she took in the bright lamplight and the darkened, wide windows.
There was the sound of sea hitting shore, but the space was otherwise silent. That regular swirl of light offered a sense of strength and safety. It was the ultimate in serene isolation.
But when she turned, she was finally able to see his face and she realised that her sense of safety was very wrong.
‘Alvaro?’
He stood still and silent and so strong.
‘Alvaro?’
‘Don’t,’ he muttered. ‘Don’t say anything.’
But how could she not say anything when he’d just stripped off his sweater, together with his tee, leaving him bare-chested? How could she not when he moved towards her with such intent?
‘What are you doing?’ she asked, even though she knew. Even though she wanted it with every ounce of her being. ‘I’m leaving soon.’
Her heart pounded as she said it to remind herself too.
‘I know,’ he muttered. ‘That’s good.’
‘Is it?’ She shook her head with a sad little smile.
‘Jade...’ His voice was rough and gravelly. ‘You know I’m right. You know that this can’t...’
‘I know.’
‘And you know we can’t not do this now.’
In the sweep of light from the beacon, the intensity in his expression was revealed. She swallowed. The lighter sexiness of that first night had been replaced by something stronger. There was almost ruthlessness in his intent—as if the hunger had deepened and the resulting, revealed pain needed to be assuaged. This time would be different. This time, she truly feared for her heart.
It’s too late already.
She closed her mind to that secret whisper. It didn’t matter. Because it was too late. And because it was too late, there was no denying this now. She lifted her chin and he stepped close to meet her, to cup her jaw in his large, gentle hands. She closed