She hated him… But she loved him, too. Those feelings had managed to exist alongside each other in her love for Axel for years, and maybe it was an old habit, but she couldn't bring herself to give up on Bishop.
Between the doctor’s appointments and her official duties, Ella had little time to conduct any research of her own, but that afternoon, she had a rare moment alone. Sterling was working, and Axel was filling in for her at a meeting so she could study. In addition to everything else, she had been given her coursework to finish remotely, considering the unique demands of her position. She felt guilty for exploiting the opportunity to look into colony law rather than the history she was supposed to be researching.
Usually, when she had a question about the limits of her responsibilities and privileges as Empress, she went to Sterling--but considering the nature of her question, that wasn't an option.
Ella had spent the last few hours poring over the legal books she had procured from the colony archives. It wasn't exactly an official loan, but if she got caught, there were worse skeletons in her closet.
When the front door opened even though nobody was supposed to be home for another two hours at least, Ella felt like a teenager scrambling to hide contraband possessions. Before she could do a remotely sufficient job of it, Sterling appeared in the kitchen doorway, and his look told her he knew something was up.
"Sterling," Ella cried, walking over to slip her arms around his neck. "I didn't think you'd be here until six."
"Neither did I," he said, glancing over at the table. She stood on her toes to kiss him in a desperate bid for distraction. It seemed to be working, and he took her into his arms, deepening the kiss. When he finally pulled away, Ella was breathless. The look in his gaze made her even more so. "The Dean canceled our meeting, so here I am. I thought you could use some help studying."
"Oh," Ella said, her face going blank. She really needed to get better at lying. "I'm actually good… I think I've learned everything."
Sterling raised an eyebrow. "You think you've learned everything about the history of the Western world?"
Ella grimaced. "It...was a really good study guide?"
He looked past her and walked over to study the stack of books. When he picked up the one on top, she knew she was caught. "’Penal law and the Monarchy,’" Sterling said, reading the title aloud. He gave her a pointed look. "That’s a very specific subset of Western history."
Ella dropped into an empty chair. "Okay, so you got me. I knew you weren't going to give me the answers I needed willingly."
"That depends on the questions."
Ella folded her arms, which her swollen belly made difficult those days. "Whether or not the Empress has the right to pardon someone for his crimes."
There was no surprise on Sterling's face. He had known the question well before she asked. "The Empress can do many things. Whether it's advisable for her to do so is another matter."
"If it was me, would you care what was advisable? Or would you do anything you could to get me out?"
"That's different."
"Why? Because I'm a queen?"
"Because you haven't harmed an innocent soul in your life," he answered. "The fact is, Bishop deserves to be exactly where he is, his last-minute change of heart aside. And your rule is still tentative enough that if you did use your power to free him, the damage would never be undone."
"I don't care about my reputation," Ella muttered.
"That's unfortunate, considering the colony's reputation is your reputation."
Ella frowned. "What’s that supposed to mean?"
"You're a leader, Ella. Not just a figurehead. Yes, you might've been thrust into the role long before you were ready, but that's what a leader does. She rises to the challenge because the people she leads need her to. They need an example. In such chaotic times, when the entire colony's faith has been shaken, and so many of its own revealed to be traitors, do you really think that abuse of power on that scale would be without consequence?"
As Ella listened, she found herself torn between guilt over Bishop's imprisonment and the impact it would have if she followed her instincts to get him out. The last thing he said gave her something to argue. "Isn't ‘abuse of power’ a bit extreme?"
"No," he answered without hesitation. He gave her a smile that softened the hardness