mud pies all over yourself. Usually, when I saw Archie, I looked like I had just crawled out of the marsh.
“Hey!” I got up and brushed off my knees when I heard his car door shut. “Tyler and Hunter are in my kitchen. How was your day?”
“Good. Very good. Your flowers look amazing.”
“Thanks, I’m working on it. You know, I plant all sorts of things my bees like.”
“Well, someday you’ll have to tell me all about that,” he said and smiled at me.
“I’d love to,” I said, and I realized I was staring at him and then repeating myself. “So, it was a good day? That’s good.”
“Yeah, it was, except for the super pious kid who refused to discuss the John Frum cargo culture. The whole concept of ‘myth dream’ was beyond his grasp.”
“Hmm,” I said, unsure if I’d ever heard the term, either. “Someday you’ll have to explain more of the finer details of cargo cults to me. I’d love to hear more.”
“Sure. How’re things at Publix?”
“My days there utterly vibrate with excitement. The work is scintillating,” I said and smiled at him. “So, Archie? I heard you have a girlfriend. Is that true?”
“Oh, I don’t know about all that. She’s the sister of a faculty member at the college. We’ve had dinner a few times. She’s nice enough.”
“Nice enough for what?” I said. That sounded awkward.
“For a dinner partner?”
“Uh-huh. My sister, who you might know has returned to the family home indefinitely, wants you to know that if you’re about to fall in love, don’t do it so fast. There might be other contenders.”
I just kind of blurted it out and then my face turned bloodred. His eyes got very large and I could see immediately that he thought I meant Leslie was interested in him.
“Leslie?” he said and sort of gulped and stammered nervously. “No, well, you know, I mean I’m . . . I’m really not on the market at the moment. You know, it’s too soon for me.”
“I’ll tell her that. She’ll understand.”
How stupid was I? If it wasn’t Leslie, then who would it be? Me, obviously. So, shoot me, I let him think it was Leslie.
“What happened? Did she and Charlie call it quits?”
“I think she’s thinking something like that. Yeah. She’s sort of done. Listen, who knows?” I was leaving the door open for Leslie to better explain it to him. I’d already bungled up everything and I was so embarrassed I wanted to dive headlong into the azaleas.
“That’s too bad. Divorce is so hard. Give her my best, okay?”
“Sure! I’ll call the boys.”
“Thanks!”
“Oh, and I made a beef stew in my InstaPot for y’all! I’ll give it to them to bring home.”
Leslie gave us an InstaPot last year for Christmas. I finally took it out of the box and now I think I might be in love with a small appliance.
He immediately took his wallet out of his back packet. “What do I owe you?”
“Oh, how about a thousand dollars?”
His expression went dark. He said, “Come on, now. We had a deal about this.”
“Okay, how’s twenty dollars?” I felt like a mercenary.
“Here’s forty. You babysat for them all afternoon.”
“Archie, listen. That’s too much. But I’ll take it, only because I’m saving up for a Maserati.”
“You are?” A big grin spread across his face. He knew I was kidding. “I’m a Lamborghini fan myself. I always wanted an Italian sports car.”
“Someday! Maybe someday we’ll both get what we want. So tell me something.”
“Sure,” he said.
“What’s she like? This woman you’re seeing? How do we know she’s worthy?”
“Worthy? Of what? An old widowed professor with two kids and a ten-year-old Jeep?”
“Please! That’s crazy talk! God, it’s so weird how we see ourselves.”
“Sharon, that’s her name, is actually coming over tonight to watch the Lakers game with us. Why don’t you come over for a glass of wine? Starts at eight.”
“Good! I’ll bring popcorn! See ya in a bit!”
It was already getting dark and I hoped he couldn’t see how nervous I became. I must be losing my mind, I thought. Where did all that brave talk come from? I hurried inside as fast as my legs could carry me, leaned against the door, and took a deep breath. I must be crazy. What if Sharon was fabulous? What if I hated her? Why would my opinion matter anyway? Okay, I told myself, get it together. Then I sort of sauntered into the kitchen to get the boys and the stew as calmly as I