guess it’s only a big deal if we make it one. We didn’t do anything damaging. It’s not like I couldn’t have seen you naked in the locker room at school, right?”
“Right…” She twisted her lips, trying to hide a smile. “Except you probably wouldn’t have kissed me if we’d been in the locker room.”
“Yeah, probably not.” I suddenly found interest in the scuffed purple skates I wore.
“I’m not mad,” she rushed to say. “It was nice. Besides, you aren’t the first girl I’ve kissed.”
My eyes widened while she wore a goofy grin. “I’m not?” When she shook her head, I couldn’t help prying for more information. “Who was it, and does Ever know?” It was hard keeping in my laughter, but I didn’t want to make any sudden movements and risk falling.
“Tyra laid one on me once after Jamie dared her to, and yes, Ever was there.” My eyebrows rose at that while hers furrowed. Of course, Jamie would be behind them kissing. “That reminds me,” Four announced. “Jamie promised us a dare, but he didn’t hold up his end of the deal.”
“Which was?”
“He was supposed to write a letter from the heart and pick an audience to read it to before graduation.” Panicking, I tried to stop only to stumble instead. Luckily, Four saved me from falling by tightening her grip. “Are you okay?” she inquired. Her brown eyes that were more cinnamon while Jamie’s were chocolate widened as she waited for my answer.
No, I wasn’t okay.
It now made sense why Jamie had been after my journal. Almost every line, lyric, and rhyme had been written for him, and he had planned to read it in front of the entire senior class. Making a deal with Jamie was as dangerous as making one with the devil. There was always a loophole. No one could deny his feelings for me, and knowing him better than the back of my hand, I could just hear him gloating now:
“It was a letter from my heart. She obviously wrote it for me.”
“I’m sure that would have been fun, but a word of advice? Don’t bet against Jamie. You’ll lose every time.”
Four wore an evil grin. “Well, I guess there’s a first time for everything because graduation is over, which means we get to see him make out with Vaughn. I suppose Ever’s off the hook, though, since they’re related.” As soon as the words left her lips, her smile faded, and she wore a troubled frown.
“Everything okay?”
“Huh?” She seemed to snap out of whatever was plaguing her thoughts. “Oh, yeah. Fine.”
I couldn’t claim to know Four all that well, but apparently, I knew enough to know when she was lying. She began chewing on her lip, and I wondered how many times she’d worried like this while I pretended to date her boyfriend. Shame bubbled up in my throat, forcing me to take a deep breath before I vomited all over my new friend.
“I don’t think I ever actually thanked you,” I whispered. She met my gaze but remained silent. “I also think you were right. I’m not sure I could have done what you did, so… thank you.”
Four simply nodded, but then that worried look was back in her eyes. “Ever says you’re leaving town. Is that true?”
I swallowed past the lump in my throat. “Yes.”
“Why? Your father can’t actually make you marry anyone. There are laws against that now, you know?”
I shook my head. My father would find a way to get me to consent. He’d already hinted before at hurting my mother. She foolishly believed she’d been my father’s equal, helping him plot against me when all along, she’d been nothing but a pawn.
I’d tried to summon hatred for the woman who’d given me life, but I couldn’t. How could I blame her for being weak when I’d allowed my father to weaken me, too?
We do the best we can with the information we have. No one person gets to decide what makes an individual weak or strong, even if their decisions aren’t what we would have done ourselves. It takes more courage to be selfless than it does to be selfish.
Channeling my inner Four, I realized I couldn’t leave my mother at the mercy of that monster. Convincing her to leave my father wouldn’t be easy, but I had to try. Knowing what I know, I couldn’t live with myself if I left without her.
“He’ll find a way.”
“What if you went to the police?”
I was surprised at her