"Part of it was mine to decide," he agreed. "But I've made my choices. I could have chosen not to tell you of the possibility, or I could refuse now to call. But for your sake - and also for hers" - he glanced at the sleeping beast - "I'm willing to do it, if you wish me to."
The Huntsman. Nathan would call the leader of the Wild Hunt because he could return the chameleon to her own realm. He would do that... if Kai asked him to.
"But will the Huntsman do it?" she asked.
"I'm no longer of the Hunt, but if I call, he'll come." Nathan gave a little huff of amusement, his lips quirking. "If nothing else, curiosity would likely bring him. The Huntsman keeps hounds, but he has that much in common with cats - a great, throbbing lump of curiosity."
"No, I mean... will he agree to send her back?" Saying it brought a pang deep inside. Kai didn't understand the bond she'd formed with the animal, but sending her away felt hard and sad.
Better than letting her die, though.
"Even his sister doesn't predict the Huntsman. He does what he does, and often won't know himself what that will be until he does it. But he has a fondness for me and a love for all wild things. He might kill your chameleon-cat, but there's a good chance he'll save her instead. Or do something we haven't thought of."
"And..." Her throat was so dry she had to swallow to get the question out. "And will you go home with him?"
"Kai." Her name came out startled. He shook his head. "No, of course you don't know. There's been a suddenness to all of this, hasn't there? I could have left two months ago when the Turning arrived, if that were my choice. I could leave now. There's enough magic for it."
Her restless feet brought her to him. She crouched in front of him, her heart pounding. "Why did you stay?"
"For you." He set down the uneaten apple core and took her hand, turning it to study her palm, her fingers. "Of course, for you. Though I didn't understand how deep you'd gone inside me, not until last night. I knew I wanted more time with you. But also for me." He rubbed her palm gently with his thumb. Slowly he looked up, meeting her eyes. "I'm not a hound anymore, not precisely. I've spent too many years in a man's body, with a man's brain. That I could hesitate at all to return to her taught me how much I've changed. But the queen..."
The trouble in his voice had her turning her hand in his to clasp it. "Yes?"
"I missed my hound's body, missed it badly, at first. I would miss my hands and my speech even more now. And you." He squeezed her hand. "I would miss you terribly if I had to leave."
"Would the Huntsman make you go back?"
"Well, he can't, which is why I'd call him and not my queen. He could kill me, of course, but - "
"Then, no." Her hand clenched hard on his. "Don't call."
"Wait, wait. I didn't mean he would kill me. It's a hunter's way of seeing things, that's all - that he could kill me but can't compel me. He'll come, he'll be curious, he either will or won't do what I ask." He shrugged. "And he'll tell her, tell my queen, about my call at some point, when it occurs to him to do so. But she... she'd have known when the realms shifted that I could return. Since I haven't..." He shrugged, looking away.
He hurt. She settled herself beside him, careful of his arm. It looked whole beneath the bloody rags of his sleeve, and she knew he healed fast. But she'd seen bone earlier. Surely it wasn't completely healed.
She put her hand on his thigh. "You feel torn in your loyalties."
"If she calls me to her, I'll go," he said quietly. "That hasn't changed, but... eh, there's no way to wrap this up in words." He sighed and, oblivious to her worry about his wound, put his arm around her. "It may be I've a choice ahead of me I don't know how to make, but there's no saying when that one will arrive. Calling the Huntsman might hasten it. Or it might not. Your choice is already here, Kai."
I can't let her die.