should probably change that. I told Tabby that talking and honesty brings people closer together. Did I mean that?
Yes. Yes I did. At least I think I did.
Whatever. I need to be brave about this.
Tonight.
Tonight, I’m going to tell him something deep about myself. And then he can return the favor. Even just one thing. One thing to prove what I’m feeling is legit. That all these zinging emotions have some weight to them.
I bob my head, my resolve hardening with each step while my mind spirals into the chaos of trying to figure out what deep and meaningful thing I’m going to share with him.
It whirls all afternoon as I toy with different topics, then immediately shy away.
How do I bring this stuff up?
It’s weird. I don’t talk about my feelings with people.
But then Angelica helps me out.
Not directly; it’s just that she calls me before we’re sitting down to dinner and I’m forced into a conversation I don’t really want to have.
“Things are great!” I tell her for the third time. She’s prying, looking for more, but I’m just not willing to budge.
“Okay. If you say so, but are you sure you’re still happy living with that bodyguard? I know what it’s like to have someone around twenty-four-seven. It can get tiring. Burk’s offered to swap out for a week or two, if you want a change of scenery.”
“Nope. I’m good. And besides, if Brody suddenly disappears, people will wonder where he’s gone.”
“Why would that be a problem? You can just let people know your bodyguard needs a vacation or something.”
“Uh…” Shit! I completely forgot she doesn’t know that I’m pretending he’s just a friend. “He hasn’t earned a vacation yet. It’s only been like a month or so. He’s fine. I just want to keep things as they are.”
“Well, you know you can call and change your mind anytime, right?”
“Yes.” I nod, wanting to wrap up this call ASAP.
“Okay. Well, I’ll tell your dad you said hi, and I’ll call again in a week or so.”
“All right.” Part of me wants to tell her she doesn’t need to do that, but I don’t want to hurt her feelings. She’s obviously making an effort, and I should seriously appreciate it. “Bye, Angelica.”
“See ya, Indigo.”
I hang up and drop the phone on the couch before walking to the table.
“You okay?” Brody slides my plate of food across to me. He’s made us a yummy looking stir-fry with the works.
“Smells good.” I pick up my fork with a grin. “Is that teriyaki?”
“Yep. I saw the sauce mix at the grocery store the other day and wanted to test it out.” He spears a chunk of chicken and pops it in his mouth. “So, the phone call. Is Angelica trying to get rid of me or something?”
I laugh and shake my head. “She just doesn’t get that I’m not sick of you yet. She’s used to having a couple bodyguards and they rotate between her and Daddy, so they get a little variety.” I crunch a floret of broccoli and smile at Brody. “But I don’t need variety.”
He grins at me, digging into his own food, and I figure now’s as good a time as any to take this relationship to the next level. We’re eating dinner together, that he cooked for us, and I’m all cozy in one of his giant sweaters, which is like the comfiest dress in the world. If that’s not relationship goals, I don’t know what is.
“Yeah, Angelica’s just trying to play mom, I guess. I mean, I know she knows I already have one, but she’s probably aware of the fact that my mother is pretty useless. I think she feels kind of responsible to look out for me or something.”
“You don’t like that?”
“Well, I mean, she’s nice and all, but I don’t know. It’s not the same as a mother who genuinely cares for you. Sometimes I don’t know if she’s doing it because she really wants to or if she’s trying to score points with Daddy.” I shrug and shake my head. I feel Brody’s gaze on me, and I look up to meet it. This opening up isn’t so scary, so I plunge a little deeper. “I guess I should be grateful for what I’ve got though, right? At least she’s around. I just sometimes wish I had that whole mother-daughter thing. Like the real deal. You know?”
Brody gives a thoughtful shrug and focuses back on his plate.
I wait, expecting some kind