if I am drawn to you, there is no future for us. I’m terribly sorry. You came here to work, and I have acted in a most devilish manner.”
“No, not devilish. Human.” She wanted to run into his arms. She wanted that moment back before he had remembered it was his maid he was speaking to. What would it feel like to be enveloped by someone as large and as caring as he was? “I’ve missed you these past few days. I didn’t want to be alone, and you have given me that. So thank you.”
“We both have work to do. But after you finish, you could stay and read in the corner if you still don’t want to be alone.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. Stay even longer in his study with him? Was that wise?
“I will keep my hands to myself. No more touching of curls, you have my word.” His arms were stiffly back at his sides.
“Thank you. I will think on that after the dusting is done.” She moved past him to his bookcase and began dusting the multitude of leather-bound books there. Behind her, Mr. Woodsworth moved back to his desk. Even without seeing him, she was attuned to his every movement. He was so strong, so resolute, and unmoving. And then, at times, he was soft and vulnerable.
She stepped gingerly as she worked her way down the row of books. Were her movements as all-encompassing to him as his were to her? She finished dusting everything except his desk. She returned to the bookshelf. “I will read for a moment if you don’t mind.” She hadn’t had time to read for weeks, and she missed it. She reached for a copy of Byron’s poems—a poor choice for sitting alone with a man she was so drawn to—but she took it anyway. As she passed his desk, he cleared his throat.
“I’m sorry you have such a serious and lifeless employer. I’ve never understood why I couldn’t be serious about my work and about planning a future for myself and also be a compelling, enjoyable person. But apparently I can’t. Shouldn’t a person be able to be both?”
“What did you say?”
“Shouldn’t a person be allowed to be both serious and enjoyable? Must my whole being be summed up in just one characteristic?”
Something deep inside Patience stilled. Mr. Woodsworth was right. A person should be able to be both. She had been working so hard to kill off the fun-loving part of herself, when in reality, she could become more serious and still be young, free, and happy. Being happy didn’t have to mean neglecting the ones she loved. She could be carefree and not be like her mother. She dropped the heavy book to the floor, and it landed with a loud thump. She turned to Mr. Woodsworth. He was slumped forward on his desk with his chin resting on his arms. His eyes were still dull and frustrated. She hoped what she was about to do would change that. After all, she hadn’t promised not to touch him.
“I’ve definitely never kissed an employer. I’ve never kissed anyone.” She took a breath to steel her nerves. It wasn’t like he didn’t want to kiss her. She knew he didn’t love her, but she wanted to take whatever moments of happiness she could before she had to leave him. She stepped deliberately over to his desk. She leaned forward, placing both her hands on either side of his elbows. Mr. Woodsworth sat up straight, his head cocked to one side and he eyed her warily. That would make it more difficult. She could have reached him easily had he stayed slumped over as he had been. She would have to practically climb over the top of his desk to reach him now. She pushed aside his papers and scooted the ink bottle to the edges of his desk, then leaned forward and grabbed the lapel of shirt and pulled him closer. His eyes were wide, but he practically fell forward to her without an ounce of resistance. Surprising Mr. Woodsworth was one of her favorite pursuits. He was still too far away. She scooted on top of the desk, sitting on the edge of it, then leaned forward the few inches to his mouth. “Not until now.”
She kissed the line to the side of his mouth first. It had been driving her crazy since the first time she saw him smile. Softly, moving carefully so as