to it.”
“You could still sing.”
She gave me a baleful stare, blue eyes catching the light. “I croak like a frog.”
“Frogs sing and don’t care if someone thinks it sounds pretty.”
She laughed, shaking her head. “I sure hope you say nicer things than that to your wife.”
“I’m working at it. And you don’t know how you sound singing, because you haven’t tried. Maybe you can relearn. It won’t sound exactly the same, but…” I waved a hand, trying to think of the right words. “You have that musical talent still, right?”
She considered that. “Hard to say. I can’t fall back on training, that’s for sure. Singing was so effortless back then that I never worked at it like my voice tutor wanted me to. I didn’t appreciate what a gift it was. Maybe that’s why Ejarat took it back, you know?” She swiped a fist under her nose, clearing the thickness from her throat.
“I don’t believe that,” I said, surprised at my own certainty. “I don’t think the gods punish us. We do that to each other well enough.”
She snorted a laugh. “Don’t we, though.”
“If not for Anure, you would’ve had time to mature, to appreciate your gift and work at it.” I stared at my own hands, so gnarled and permanently stained black in the creases, and thought of Brenda’s tale, how she never had the chance to repair the foolish decisions of her youth.
“I guess we both turned out different than we would have, for sure.” She eyed the spring. “You know, Conrí. I’ve killed a lot of men.”
I had no trouble following her thoughts. “We both have. Men and women.” If Calanthe planned to parade their faces in front of me, I didn’t want to see that, either.
“I mean that I made them suffer. I wanted to hurt them, and I did. Nothing to say?” she asked when I didn’t reply.
“What am I, your confessor? Find a priest of Sawehl for that.”
“No, you are my king, Conrí,” she replied slowly. “If I appeared before you in the court of Oriel, what sentence would you pass upon me?”
“None. Full pardon. There you go.”
“That won’t work. If Lia’s plan works, you’ll be king of Oriel and you’ll be dealing with rafts of this shit. What about the nobles that colluded with Anure? They’ll have all kinds of war crimes to answer for. You won’t be able to just pardon me—you’ll have precedents to set.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose. “I thought you wanted me to take Anure’s place, to be emperor.”
She was so quiet that I glanced at her, but she was still staring at the pool, as if something might rise out of it, grab her by the ankle, and drag her in. “Not anymore. If you’d seen Yekpehr, the citadel … They paraded us through the streets and crowds gathered, but … they all looked dead inside. And Anure’s throne room—it’s like a monument to greed. No one person should have that much power. I don’t wish that on you.”
“You could say the same about me being king,” I felt I had to say.
But she considered me, expression canny in the speckled shadows. “I think … this whole thing about serving the land, maybe it keeps you honest, you know? Lia, She’s suffered for Calanthe. It’s not all jewels and waving Her pinkie for the least little thing.” She gazed off down the tunnel. “Who knows what She’ll have to carve out of Herself this time, to tame Calanthe again.”
The prickle of doom crawled over my scalp, my gaze drawn to Lia’s sparkling crown, settled into its niche like some artifact of old, waiting for a true ruler to come claim it again.
“I’m drinking the water,” Sondra declared, prying off her boots.
“You sure?” I hadn’t really thought she would, despite my poking at her.
“Seems cowardly not to,” she replied, standing to unbuckle her sword belt, then shucking off her reinforced leather vest and her leather pants, so she stood in just a thin undershirt and shorts. “I’m thinking maybe that there’s something to facing the truth. It doesn’t change anything I’ve done, and even though I can guess what I’ll see, there might be something I can learn just by making myself do it.”
She walked to the pond, waded in. “Shit, that’s cold. Why didn’t they tell us it was so fucking cold?”
“Probably because that’s the least of it?” I suggested. “If you can’t take a little cold water, you sure aren’t going to be able to