feels more festive.”
I thought of the Price family holidays. With dozens of people crammed around folding tables, asses to elbows over turkeys and hams. The birthday cakes. The pitchers of margaritas and pots of chili.
“Do you go to them for Christmas?” I asked.
She shook her head and stepped out onto the concrete and glass balcony. The sun was sinking low, painting the sky a dusky pink. “It’s hard for me to get away,” she said, settling on a blue and white striped chair cushion. A politician’s non-answer.
“But you’d make the time if you wanted to,” I guessed.
“Yes, I would. I envy you for your family,” she admitted. “I hope you appreciate them.”
“My mother wouldn’t allow me not to,” I teased.
Emily sipped her water in silence. A melancholy of unfilled dreams slowly extinguishing the excitement of the day.
“Hey,” I said, taking the chair next to her and nudging her foot with mine.
“Hmm?”
“I’m the first to admit that family doesn’t have anything to do with blood. You can build your own. Choose your own.”
She smiled a little sadly. “I’ve got Jane. And Cam and Daisy and Luna,” she agreed. “But…”
It hung there in the air between us as we watched the sun slip behind the skyline of the city we both loved.
The string lights came on above us.
“Do you want a family?” I asked her.
She sipped thoughtfully and put the glass down on the table in front of us. “Do you want the answer I give my mother or the real answer?”
“What do you think?”
“Flawless is my family,” she said finally. “I was never the little girl swooning over wedding dresses or carrying around baby dolls. I was the kid with the microscope and the college junior excited to spend a Saturday in the lab.”
“Do you regret that?” I pressed.
She wrinkled her nose as she mulled over the question. “No. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t want a collection of people that I love in a home I built for them on Christmas morning. Or that a tiny portion of me feels like I might be missing out. I love kids. I really do,” she insisted.
“You don’t have to convince me. I saw you enthrall fifteen twelve-year-olds by setting fire to a water jug. You love kids. You love science.”
“I’ve been so focused on my empire that I’ve neglected to put any work into relationships. I’m not a good daughter or friend. I’m busy and distracted. I fear I’d take the same approach to marriage and motherhood. Now that there’s a possibility that I could lose what I’ve built…” She sighed. “I guess I’m just realizing that I don’t have anything else. And yes. I know exactly how that sounds from someone with my financial portfolio. Woe is me.”
It was the most honesty I’d gotten out of her in one shot.
“Money doesn’t buy happiness,” I reminded her, fighting the urge to touch her. Any small stimulus might cut off the flow of truth.
“Everyone says that, but few people really get it. Money can buy security. But it’s not going to deliver love.”
“I’m sure I don’t need to remind you that you’re in control,” I said. “You call the shots. You make the decisions. If you want to veer off course, then veer off course. Especially if it’s in my direction.”
“I’m not good at dividing my focus, Derek,” she said, eyeing me. “That’s something we should probably discuss.”
“Ms. Stanton, you aren’t trying to have a ‘where is this going’ conversation with me, are you?” I asked, feigning horror.
She laughed. “I’m trying to have a ‘manage your expectations’ conversation with you.”
I took her hand. “Come here,” I said.
Reluctantly, she rose. I settled her into my lap and wrapped my arms around her. Finally. Touching her, holding her like this slowed everything down. Made everything make sense.
“I just don’t want you to think that I’m magically going to change and become—”
“What? A girlfriend?”
She shrugged. “You know better than anyone how busy I am. If you do win our little wager and the IPO goes through, it’s not going to slow down. If anything, I’ll be even busier. I’ll have shareholders to answer to. Not to mention the forest-slaughtering paperwork required for public companies. I’m going to have to give up my Wednesday nights,” she said wistfully.
“Is it what you want?” I asked neutrally.
“It’s what I’ve been working toward.”
And we were back to the non-answers.
I changed tactics. “Knowing what I know about you, Emily Stanton, I’m surprised you’re taking Flawless public.”
“That’s an indirect way of