baby?”
“Yes, Edward.”
He tilted the coffee cup, pouring it down my chest. It wasn’t as hot as it could’ve been. I knew that from experience. I had no need for the hospital.
The coffee burned my chest, my belly, my thighs . . .
Buddy reached out. "Edward—"
“Tell him no,” Edward ordered.
I felt his fist. Felt him strip me. And then I was on the floor.
“Please, don’t.” I felt sick from the burns, and despite best efforts, I tried to get away.
“Fight him, Tess.”
So, I did.
Edward stood and watched his brother rape me.
I wouldn’t need to lie if we went to court.
30
Tess
I knew there would be consequences when Michael let me keep my secrets that night. He bandaged my hand with a shirt of his that he cut up with kitchen scissors. I think he was afraid that I wouldn’t still be here if he went to the store without me, or maybe he was afraid that I’d run while we were in the store, or maybe he just felt too raw after the night we’d had. We didn’t go though. We fucked, and I slept.
When I wake, I have the start of a plan.
“You didn’t need to debase yourself for me,” he whispers as he pulls me close. He likes to sleep with his arm around me, pinning me to him so he wakes every time I slip out of the bed.
Reid held me the same way. It makes me feel safe, being unable to flee. I think sometimes that if any of the men I fucked since Reid had even tried to hold me like this, I might’ve considered a relationship. They didn’t, though. They were content with my fuck-and-roll-away approach to dating. It was easier for everyone.
Michael doesn’t want to let me go. It makes me feel needed, wanted, essential.
After I first left Reid, I only dated married men. I knew they wouldn’t try to stay, and even though I knew I was still breaking Reid’s rules every time a man touched me without his permission, it felt better if I wasn’t the only one breaking my vows. I sometimes found myself excited at the idea of Reid finding out, of him knowing that someone else touched his property, of him seeing that I was happy without him.
After I left, it took two years for me to remove my wedding ring. I wonder if he still wears his. I suspect he does. Reid has flaws, but he understands commitment. He killed women so he could let me live. He kept them in our home so he didn’t have to hurt me because I was too weak. I tried to be strong enough though—and I failed. Other women died because I was weak.
Waking up to find Michael still holding me makes everything seem clear. For a moment before I turn and look at him, before he speaks, I pretend that Reid is with me again. I’ll be stronger.
This time, I’ll have the power.
Lips are on my neck, and a hand slides over my stomach.
“Tess . . .”
“Shhh. Just don’t say anything.”
He listens, and I part my legs in invitation. Maybe last night was good for us. Michael’s not a particularly giving lover. Most of the men I’ve fucked aren’t. Today, though, I feel cherished. His fingers are sure and quick, not like Reid. He liked to make me beg, to leave me so close to desperate that I would do anything if only he would continue.
“Harder,” I say.
He stills, but after a moment, he complies. It’s closer to the cruelty that I learned to like.
“I won’t break.”
After a moment, I give him the incentive he needs. I share my plan, still only half-formed. “I’ll answer all your questions. Pleasure for words.”
His voice is shocked. “I give you pl—”
“Hurt me, and I’ll tell you my stories, Michael.” I press back tighter to him. “Let’s play pretend. You can be the monster, and I’ll be your victim.”
His breath hitches, and his hips surge against me.
“That’s what you want, isn’t it? You want to understand how to be a monster.” I feel him responding even as he struggles to come up with the words to deny it. It’s pointless. I wouldn’t be here if he didn’t have that seed inside him. I nurture it a little more, teasing it out. “Do you want to hear about how I crawled on my hands and knees, naked, bruised?”
He’s the one who can help me. Michael is my cure, someone safe who let me take back control.
And