attention to himself nowadays, though he does know you’re here. Thinks it’s fantastic. His exact words.”
“Really? Why?” Freaked out was an understatement. I bit my lip and straightened my hair—as if the devil cared what I looked like.
“You’ve always been one of his favorite topics.”
Sitting back on extra-large European bed shams and pulling my knees into my chest was the only defense I had against running out of the room and back to the Larsons. We were going to have to address it sooner or later. And, since running back home wasn’t an option, I started.
Gavin must have sensed my panic. “Well … ” Gavin climbed up on the bed, grabbed my arms and held them behind me before kissing me softly on the mouth. “We can’t have you running off, now can we?” He trailed soft insistent kisses along the length of my neck. “You are going to be the death of me, Archangel Grace Ann Miller,” he whispered, his breath coming faster, hot against my skin.
“Don’t you think we should talk about this, your feelings?” I tried to keep him talking, even as I became lost in his touch and the feel of his mouth on me. When I cleared my throat, he ran his tongue across it, drawing a moan from my open mouth.
“Oh. My feelings … at this very moment … ” I felt his knee against my thigh. “I feel entirely intoxicated. And this, Grace, is precisely the problem.”
Gavin released my hands and wrapped his arm around my waist. My back arched slightly. He paused to look at me, admiring his handiwork, before pulling me down beneath him, then grabbing both my arms and securing them over my head. He held them there, inhaled deeply, then lowered himself to kiss my mouth.
“Problem?” I asked when he decided breathing was necessary for my survival. I tried to free myself from his grip without offending him, but my wiggling beneath him seemed to amuse him even more.
“Grace, we can’t keep doing this. It’s torture. I have been waiting my entire life for you—all of you. And now, I finally have you, and you want to wait … for … what exactly?” It was Gavin who sat up now.
My hands were free, but somehow I didn’t feel as happy about it as I thought I would. “I’m sorry,” It was not what I had intended to say.
“I’m doing my best to be patient.” It felt as if Gavin hadn’t finished his sentiment. Unspoken words hung heavily between us.
“Do you think I like feeling like this, knowing that thousands of girls would cut off their right arm to be here right now?” The tears threatened, but I was too angry to cry. “Maybe Remi was right. That it was a mistake to come here. I’m falling in love with you, someone I hardly know, and yet, it’s hardly enough. I’m not like you. I can’t help who I am, or what I’m not. And you know what? I don’t want to change. For you, or anyone. I can’t. I barely know my own mind nowadays. I have no idea who I really am. Until I do, I just … I can’t be with you like that.” I fought my mind’s suggestion. Hearing it chilled me. I wrapped my arms around myself in an attempt to shield myself from what I was about to say.
“What? What is it, Grace?” Gavin’s voice was softer now. Maybe even remorseful.
I couldn’t say it. I just couldn’t.
Gavin knew what I was thinking. “You really think I want Emeria, that I would leave you for her, just because she’s like me?”
“Yes. No. I just think she would be better for you. She’s already … Fallen,” I whispered through silent tears and snot. I choked on my words, and worse, I made him feel bad for being what he was.
But Gavin perked up just then. “Wait! You think you’ll Fall if we have sex? That you’ll become … like me?” Gavin laughed so hard and for so long I thought he’d misheard me. “You think God wants you to save a race of angels but doesn’t want you to sleep with me?” He laughed even louder.
I hated when he laughed at me. I buried my head under the pillows, but he pulled them off me. I sought refuge under his shoulder.
“You humans and your stupid rules,” he chortled. “I actually thought you didn’t want me, Grace, that you were repulsed by the thought of being with