after I do that. I can’t lose you, not when I just found you. If I do this, will you still love me?”
The answer will either gut me or set me free because I have to do this either way.
Emma moves to me, pushing me to the couch and straddling my hips.
Though gentle, her hands on my shoulders keep me motionless, defenseless to her verdict. She bites her lips, like the judgement pains her, and a fissure trembles in my heart, threatening to crack it in two.
“You are who you are, and I love you. No matter what. It’s not a variable. It’s not conditional based on your actions. It just is. Do what you need to. For you, for me, for Caleb, even for your dad. This is the final step in your mission. Avenge him, wash away all trace of his sins so that you can be free to live your own life the way you want. You and Caleb, as brothers. And you and me too. I love you, will always love you. No matter what.”
I shudder beneath her, some magical balm soothing the jagged edges of my soul. “How is it that you can see me, truly see me, and somehow find something redeemable?”
She starts to answer, but it’s rhetorical. I don’t need to know how. I’m just thankful that she does.
I silence her compliments with a kiss, telling her with my tongue that I appreciate her acceptance. A welcoming that no one has ever shown me.
“I know we’ve talked about it already, but I want to say again, the past is the past. I wouldn’t change how you came into my life, kitty. You were willing to risk everything, even yourself, to help Claire, however misguided it may have been. And then you helped me, selflessly, bringing me to life in the process. Today is just another step for us. But the thread that connects them all is that I love you. I didn’t think I even could love, but you’ve taught me how, and I plan to spend the rest of my days showing you how grateful I am that you saw possibilities in me.”
I grip the back of her neck, pulling her to me, but instead of kissing her, I lay her forehead against mine. Eyes intense, breath shared, hearts beating as one. A single tear rolls down her cheek, but her lips lift.
“Do it,” she says.
Nodding, I pick up my phone and call a number I’ve only dialed a handful of times, almost expecting him not to answer, but the line connects.
“Da?”
“Nikolai, it’s Nathan Stone.” He hums a noise somewhere between curiosity and leeriness. “We have business to discuss.”
He chuckles dismissively. “Nyet, safe passage in and out was given. My mother appreciates the pink diamonds.”
I purse my lips, trying to decide how involved he is and wondering if I should’ve waited to let Caleb look into this more, but the chance for that is gone, so I play fast and hard.
“That was the deal. Are you telling me that you allowed safe passage, only to renege and send an assassin after me on US soil?”
The choked gasp of rage he gives is all the answer I need. “What? No, I did no such thing. What are you talking about?” His accent thickens in his shocked anger, making the words run together.
“I thought you’d say that. In that case, I have some info you need to know. It could potentially help us both or greatly harm . . . you.”
“What is this info?” he asks suspiciously.
“How involved is your father in operations these days?”
He doesn’t answer as I expected. He’s not going to share family secrets with an outsider, but I need to set the stage.
“Back in the day, it seems our fathers had occasion to do business from time to time. But somewhere along the way, things got messy. Papa Romanov hired a man—you’d know him as John Mattison—to kill my dad.”
I let that bomb sit and detonate fully, but instead of the whoosh of surprise, Nikolai sighs, letting me know he was already aware of this.
I forcefully corral my anger that he knew and continue coldly, “And then he flew this man to Italy, where he killed Anna, one of my father’s resources. An innocent—pregnant—woman.”
I hear creaking on the line, and I can picture Nikolai rearranging himself in his chair. “Da, I know this.”
He sounds bored, like he’s just placating me by listening.
“You knew all this?” I growl. “Then I’m sure