who bore the scars.
“Did you stay in touch?”
“I called every few weeks, and I dropped by once in a while. My last visit was ten years ago. I’d been on a retreat, and afterward I got the urge to give my grandparents a gift. I knew they’d always wanted to take a cruise, and since I had the County job by then—and a regular salary—I decided to surprise them. A last-ditch effort to connect, I guess. I also wrote them a letter that was a bit on the sappy side.”
In other words, he’d taken a risk and bared his soul.
She leaned forward. “What happened?”
“They thanked me for the cruise.”
“What about the letter?”
“They said they’d read it after I left.”
“Did they?”
“I don’t know.” A muscle clenched in his jaw. “They never mentioned it again.”
Merciful heaven. How could they have treated their own flesh and blood with such coldness?
“I’m so sorry, Brent.” Somehow she managed to choke out the words.
“Hey.” He touched her hand. “It’s okay.”
No, it wasn’t.
But she couldn’t change the past. All she could try to do was ensure he had a better future.
As she struggled to get a grip on her emotions, he spoke again.
“Eve—I didn’t introduce this subject to dwell on the past or to elicit sympathy. I brought it up to help you understand how my childhood shaped me . . . and why I’m deficient in certain areas of my life.”
“None that I can see.”
“You would in time.” He linked his fingers on the table. “Let me cut to the chase. As you’ve probably deduced, my grandparents weren’t the most demonstrative or warm people. I witnessed few exchanges of affection between them, and they were no different with me.”
“What about when you were a young child? Didn’t they kiss you good night or . . . or comfort you if you were sad or hurting?” Surely they had a few loving qualities.
“No. They were stoic personalities. There wasn’t much laughter in the house, nor were tears allowed. Everyone was expected to suck it up and carry on. As a result, I learned to be self-sufficient and to keep my emotions on a tight leash. That’s been an asset in my work—but less so in my personal life. In fact . . . it’s been a significant problem.”
All of a sudden, the gentle rain that had begun falling as they’d arrived at her house intensified. The drops hammered against the skylight, adding to the drumbeat of tension in the room as she tried to process all he’d told her.
The man sharing her kitchen table had given her a bunch of facts—most of them heartbreaking. Yet there had been one revealing omission.
He hadn’t talked about how his bleak childhood had made him feel.
Or how he felt now.
And why would he, after being raised by two such cold people? After spending his youth in a joyless environment where emotion was discouraged? After his one outreach as an adult had been rebuffed with callous indifference?
After all, if you didn’t get close to anyone, you couldn’t get hurt.
But people who never allowed themselves to feel emotions—or make connections—could have difficulty forming social attachments.
Was that why he’d never married? Was that what he’d been trying to tell her with that last comment? That he wasn’t the best husband material?
Or was she reading too much into his remark?
No way to be certain unless she asked for clarity . . . with as much diplomacy as she could muster.
She pressed a finger on a stray crumb and deposited it on her plate, speaking slowly as she formulated her response. “I’m trying to read between the lines here, and I may be off base—but I’m interpreting what you said to mean you haven’t always been as successful in relationships as you’ve been in your career. And that this may be why you’ve never married.”
The corners of his mouth rose, but there was no humor in his eyes. “Are you certain you didn’t double major in psychology?”
“Psych 101 was as far as I went. Western history and political science were my focus.”
He arched an eyebrow. “How did you end up in education?”
“History and poli sci majors don’t get a ton of job offers. The teaching gig in a private high school fell into my lap, and I grabbed it. Doing the blog on the side allowed me to use my degrees—but I’d still be teaching if that hadn’t taken off and led to the radio program. I enjoyed working with young people.”
“Well, you would have done