mom you said that.
HIM: Don’t u dare.
ME: I’m hitting the gym soon. Be home around 9. Wanna come by after you’re done with the boys?
HIM: Prolly not, bb. Think we’re gonna go back to Steve’s and have a Fortnite marathon.
I’m only a smidge disappointed. We didn’t have plans, so I can’t fault him for wanting to continue hanging out with his friends, the people he originally had plans with.
ME: OK. Have fun! Love you.
NICO: Love u too bb <3 <3 <3 <3
“I miss blowjobs,” Hunter declares at the gym an hour later.
The forlorn assertion triggers a burst of laughter from me, which nearly results in me tripping on the treadmill. It’s been a week since we’ve seen each other, and obviously his monk status is still solidly intact.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” I tell him.
“Don’t apologize to me, apologize to my dick.”
Snorting, I dip my gaze south. Not gonna lie—his package is kind of impressive beneath his black track pants. I make a magnanimous gesture at his crotch. “I’m sincerely sorry for your recent troubles, Hunter’s dick.”
Hunter’s dick’s owner nods soberly. “He appreciates the sentiment.”
This fucking guy. He is either the best or the worst. I still haven’t decided.
With that said, he’s definitely the worst gym buddy. For the past forty minutes, we’ve been side-by-side on our respective treadmills without altering the brisk pace. But now I’m waning. It’s an admission of defeat when I flick my finger on the incline button to make the workout a bit easier.
Mr. Hockey Star has barely broken a sweat. A slight sheen coats his forehead and that’s about it. Meanwhile, I’m a sweaty mess. Thank God I’m not romantically interested in him, otherwise I’d be incredibly self-conscious and embarrassed about perspiring this much. Even Nico hasn’t seen me at my sweatiest.
“Aww, does someone need a break?” Hunter mocks.
“Nope, just a flatter path.”
“Wimp.”
“Monk.”
“You gotta stop using that as an insult. Some people consider my celibacy admirable.”
“Says the guy who’s moaning about missing blowjobs.”
“Oh, like you wouldn’t miss it if the boyfriend stopped going down on you.”
“Not really,” I say before I can stop myself. And I regret it instantly. I’m not a fan of locker room talk, especially involving my boyfriend. So what if Nico isn’t an oral genius? That doesn’t mean he doesn’t possess other exceptional qualities.
Unfortunately, Hunter heard me loud and clear. Even as his head swivels my way, the rest of his body doesn’t miss a step, his long legs eating up the treadmill. “Uh oh. My man Nico’s not doing it for you with his tongue?”
“No, he is.”
“Yeah? Didn’t sound like it just now.”
“Whatever, not everyone is great at oral,” I grumble. “Practice makes perfect, right?”
Hunter appears to be trying not to laugh. “Haven’t you guys been together for like ten years?”
“Eight,” I say grudgingly. “We officially started dating when we were thirteen.”
“And he still hasn’t mastered the art of eating pussy?” Incredulity lines his tone.
“Don’t be crude.”
“Fine, would you like me to call it cunnilingus?”
Ugh, that word is truly unappealing. Who even came up with it? “Look, I’m not saying he’s awful at it. Honestly, I think it’s me. I’m just not interested in it.”
“Have you ever gotten oral from anyone else?”
“No.”
“Then how do you know it’s you?” Hunter challenges. “A hundred bucks says he just sucks at going down on chicks. How much time does he spend down there?”
My cheeks are on fire. “Not a lot.” I hurry on in Nico’s defense, “I think he’s too impatient to get inside me.”
“But the anticipation is half the fun,” Hunter protests.
I shrug. “It doesn’t matter. Even if it is him, he does amazing things when he’s in me, and his finger game is pretty sweet. We can’t all be good at everything, right?”
“I can,” Hunter says smugly.
“Mmm-hmmm, I’m sure you’re phenomenal in bed. Men who brag about their sexual prowess always are.”
“I am. Too bad you’ll never find out.”
“Me and every other girl, Monk.”
He rolls his eyes. His pace remains brisk. How is he carrying an entire conversation without getting breathless? Me, I’m struggling to talk and run at the same time. Damn athletes.
“Anyway, despite his very disappointing failings, Nico seems like a cool dude,” Hunter relents. “He’s funny.”
“He’s hilarious. And yes, he is a cool dude.”
“Minus the subpar oral skills, of course.”
“They’re not subpar. They’re par.”
“What an endorsement!”
“Oh, shut up.”
“You shut up.” Hunter flashes that devilish grin of his. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell him you said that. It would crush his ego.”
“Everything you and I talk about falls