I was meant to be. That I was contemplating jumping into something I probably wasn’t ready for, but inside I couldn’t wait a moment longer. Yes, I’d left Clint and I knew there would be an inevitable exchange of words which would be emotional and heartbreaking, but something about this felt right, like this was the moment I wasn’t supposed to ignore or push aside. Was there ever going to be a right time for me and Josh, the right circumstances? I don’t think we would ever find a normal or right time. I’m the one who keeps getting screwed over. Why should I give a damn about waiting, and why should I even care? I wanted this, today, now. I wanted Josh. I just wish I had some small sign that gave me just a little more confidence to believe the right time was now.
I slammed the shower tap off and quickly wrapped myself up in a big white thick bathrobe and ran out of the bathroom. I raced through the apartment, my eyes darting from corner to corner, desperately trying to find Josh. He was standing out on the terrace, murmuring on his cell. I stopped to stare at him for a moment before slowly creeping out onto the terrace. He turned and saw me and quickly shut his cell.
That’s weird.
“Norah, what are you doing? Are you aware you haven’t dressed yourself?” His eyes made a quick sweep over my half-naked body before he was decent enough to stare over the terrace wall. After I stood there a minute, not moving, he turned to meet me again, his forehead crinkling in wonder as I continued to stare at him. I think he wanted to laugh at my abnormal behavior but instead just stared back.
I started to fidget with my hands as I tried to tell Josh how I was feeling, but I only managed to find a few words, which weren’t even close to what I wanted to say. “Josh I just wanted to say thank you for letting me stay here. For giving me a birthday celebration a day later, for just being...”
Josh cut in, “Oh, that reminds me.” He raised his hand, “Stay right here for a minute.” He ran inside his apartment and came back with a thin rectangular object wrapped up in brown paper, with a white string bow.
“What is this?” I said, staring at it.
“It’s your real birthday present,” he stated, pushing it towards me. “Open it.”
“Oh,” I said, slowly tearing at the brown paper, peeling it away until I saw what it was.
“Oh Josh,” I breathed softly, barely able to say his name.
Sometimes, the smallest moments in your life have the greatest impact. They soar straight into a place deep inside you, and resonate with the very core of your heart, sinking deep into your memory, to remind you later, that life and love can bring you magic you didn’t know existed.
I could only hold the frame, trying not to cry, trying to understand how he could possibly have it. “How did you get this?” I wasn’t even sure I was breathing, but my feet felt light, my mind floating from the memory of this picture.
Josh’s body shifted so he was standing right behind me. “Don’t be angry when I tell you this Nor, but the day before I left, when I was in your room and left you that good-bye letter, I kind of took this. I wanted something to remember you by. I wanted a piece of you, something as beautiful as you, something made by you. I’m sorry I took it, I just didn’t know if I’d ever see you again after I left.” My eyes lifted to Josh and then back down as he continued to explain his gift. “I just wanted to have a part of you wherever I was and wherever I went. You were always with me Norah, in my head, in my heart, everywhere. I took this with me so our souls would always be together, so they’d never forget.”
And just like that, it was as if the heavens opened up and a big ray of light shone down on me and Josh. I had my sign. Josh had given me a sketch I had done back in high school. It was a charcoal drawing I had done of my mother’s face from a portrait my Dad kept in his bedroom. Her head was tilted to the side as she stared out at the