I turned back to Josh who was still looking at me like he had been caught out. I had to admit, I was a little taken back by the whole scene, but I had no claim here, and did my best to remind myself of that, putting these weird feelings I was having aside, and righting myself back as Josh’s long time bosom buddy.
“Five times?” I raised my eyebrows at Josh as the corners of my mouth curled up, trying not to giggle. Josh started walking over to his dining table where a gray T-shirt was hanging over one of the chairs. He grabbed it and slipped it on. I watched his back and shoulder muscles flex as put he put on his T-shirt, biting my lip at the very nice visual display. I frowned in disappointment when the eye candy was gone.
Why am I suddenly looking at Josh like a piece of meat? Is this what happens when friends kiss? Do they suddenly notice their bodies in a different way?
Focus Norah.
“Seriously, what is it with you and blonds?” I asked him, trying to divert my perverted thoughts. Josh ignored my question, opened his fridge door and stood staring in, not looking at me as he spoke.
“I thought you had a cell now. You know, you could have called first.” He closed the fridge door forcefully, and then leaned up against the kitchen bench, running his fingers through his hair, and tapping his feet. He was both angry and nervous. I didn’t like this version of Josh. I didn’t like the idea that he was mad at me and didn’t want me in his home.
I shot Josh a disapproving look. “I didn’t think I had to Joshua,” I said, trying not to sound hurt, but I was a little sad he wasn’t more welcoming.
Melanie reentered the room wearing a red, skin-tight mini dress, and stood near us, looking at Josh but ignoring me. “You coming by tonight, Josh?” Josh quickly walked over to Melanie, gripped her by the arm, and helped her towards the front door.
“Probably not,” he answered, and pushed her out. She mumbled something as he closed the door, and then returned back to the kitchen where I was standing. His facial expression remained stern and cold. “You know, this is a really early time of morning to just show up at someone’s place Norah.”
My eyes welled unexpectedly. I felt even more hurt that Josh was scolding me for behavior that he had always welcomed. He knew I was naturally impulsive, and now he seemed surprised and offended that I was just being me by turning up at his place unannounced. Perhaps things had really changed between us. Perhaps our kiss back in Morewell pushed us apart. I knew our friendship couldn’t go back to how it was after that. I was really stupid to think we could act like nothing had happened. Josh and I had passionately made out when I was at my most vulnerable after breaking up with Clint, and when made to choose, I had chosen Clint over Josh. I was sure that our friendship was still as strong as ever, but now I was feeling doubt that our bond was breaking, and that scared the shit out of me.
I keep my head hung low, not sure what to say next. Josh lifted my chin to look into my eyes. “Look, I’m sorry I’m being so offhand. Of course you can come over whenever you like, at any time, day or night. I just didn’t expect to see you. I haven’t seen you in a couple of months. We have just been speaking on the phone, and now you suddenly show up here. I just would have preferred to see you while I was...alone.”
I lifted my head to look at his soft green eyes and realized that Josh, my best friend was still there, and I had to remember that he too, had his own life he was trying to live. “I’m sorry Josh. I didn’t mean to interrupt you and your girlfriend. I should have known that a guy like you would have company. I just, I don’t know. I’m sorry Josh. I’ve missed you,” I paused as my voice changed to something else, sweeter I think. “A lot,” I said, biting my lip. I missed him so much that my heart was actually aching to hold him. I guess it was my punishment for getting swept up in my own relationship.