awful catastrophe.” She did a pirouette in the antigrav since they had the tube to themselves and grinned. “Not everything can be as dramatic as the pantry was. Or as beautiful as the observatory.”
Trevor had to be satisfied with the non-answer. He was happy to see her in such a good mood.
The rest of the day was uneventful. Gianna had her appointment with the doctor and emerged from the office in a positive frame of mind, saying only Dr. Shane had been understanding and asked a lot of good questions, which would require more thought. “She said resolving the kinds of issues I have is really work, and most people don’t understand the commitment required. She wants me to assess whether I’m prepared to invest the time and mental energy, or if I’d prefer to let the memories and my emotions simmer along in the current state.”
They were strolling from the sickbay to her cabin to get things for another trip to the beach level. “Are you going to pursue it after this voyage?” Trevor asked. He’d been given the same advice by the military therapists and Emily. Of course none of them had any visibility into the core of his true problem because he’d never divulge those traumas. He felt the burning which arose in his nerve endings whenever he allowed himself to dwell too much on his secrets and hastily forced his mind and attention into a better direction—the joy he’d experienced the night before, in bed with Gianna. Those memories were safe and untouchable. Precious.
Verlaine bumped into him and he patted the hound’s head perfunctorily.
“Dr. Shane said she can give me recommendations for people to talk to.” Distracted by the display of glittering minauderie purses in the shop she was passing, Gianna shrugged. “I think if I could talk to her regularly, it might help. I’m not so sure about working with a complete stranger.” She paused as if ready to return to the store. “I wonder if I could translate my design elements into an item like those purses? I’ve always adored light hearted accessories.” Shaking her head, she walked on. “Maybe I’ll talk to Twilka about it when we’re at my brother’s wedding, see if she’d like to collaborate on a line.”
Trevor was glad to see her expanding her boundaries of what might be possible, although he knew nothing about the fashion industry. Reverting to their previous topic, he asked, “When your father or his medical advisors gave you Verlaine, wasn’t there any discussion? Any guidance?”
She shook her head. “I was a kid. He was trained of course and the handlers told me what behaviors he’d do to assist me if I was having a flashback, or a nightmare or an anxiety attack. During the time I tried medicating the issues away, he was trained to bring me the medinject pack when he could tell my symptoms were escalating.” She looked Trevor in the eye. “He watches over me when we’re out in public, as you’ve seen. He’s a responsible, caring animal. And of course being a canine DNA variation, he regards me as part of his pack and wants me to be happy and safe. I’m so fortunate Tajikkas have such a tremendously extended lifespan. I don’t know what I’d do without him but I have at least another hundred years before I might have to face the issue.” She shook her finger at the hound and made a mock face of disapproval. “Although when I’m deep in the flow of painting and he nudges me to take a break to eat or go for a walk, I do get annoyed.” She fondled one silky ear and patted his head. “I can’t hold a grudge for long though because I know it’s for my own good.” Now she assessed Trevor as they entered her suite. “What about you? You said you had PTSD—did you do therapy and was it helpful?”
Verlaine whined.
“I think he believes you’re a member of his pack too,” she said, removing the leash from the hound’s collar. “I’m sorry if what I asked was a stressful question. You don’t have to tell me.”
“Sure I had all kinds of therapy,” he said evasively. “I haven’t had a problem or a flashback in years.” Don’t ask me about my nightmares or the secret I have to work so hard to keep locked down so no one ever suspects.
Gianna looked from Verlaine to him and raised her eyebrows but didn’t follow up on the