Perfection - Kitty Thomas Page 0,35

to sink into the floor and disappear.

“Welcome to the top of the food chain, Cassia,” he says with a wink.

I let out a breath. No. This is not my mystery lover. His voice is different. I smile weakly back at him.

“I'll be dancing the firebird with you,” he says.

I glance over to Natalie, who gives me an I told you so look. She's right. The company is sending a clear signal. They absolutely would not pair me with Frederick in the middle of the season like this if I weren't Natalie's replacement.

The other principals are in the lounge by now. They watch me with a certain wariness. They saw Natalie's reaction, so they aren't ready to lynch me just yet, but should they get the signal, they will pounce on me like ravening hyenas.

Natalie tells them what she just told me out in the hallway. It gets very emotional. There’s crying. Even a few of the male principals tear up. The depth of love they have for this woman eclipses even what I thought I knew. She promises she's just a plane ride away, and she'll visit.

Frederick looks not less sad, but less shocked than the others. He must have known about the boyfriend at the other company and seen this coming.

We all go out together for lunch at a local restaurant. I make it a point to speak individually to each of the male principals, but none of them is him. The man who owns my life is not one of the men at this table.

When I get back, Melinda and Henry practically maul me.

“I told you!” Henry says, sweeping me up like only a long-time dance partner can manage. “I knew you were the best dancer here!”

And now I'm sad, because although I'm excited to be dancing with Frederick, this means I won't be dancing with Henry any longer. He senses the sadness, and I know he feels it, too, but then he says, “I got paired with Melinda for this one. It's all good, don't worry. I will survive.”

“This is so exciting!” Melinda squeals. Of course she wishes it were her. There is no corps dancer who doesn't fantasize about the magical moment I had this morning. But she’s happy for me, and her hug and congratulations are genuine.

I'm glad at least she gets to dance with Henry. It feels less like we're all being split up.

10

When I walk down the darkened aisle in the theater of the opera house, his voice booms out over the speaker. “Congratulations, Ms. Lane, I hear you'll be replacing Natalie. And the new Firebird. I hope you won't forget the little people... like me.”

Right. Like I could ever forget. Like he didn't orchestrate this. I wonder briefly if he pulled the puppet strings behind Natalie's departure as well. Did he know about the boyfriend? It feels like he knows everything about everything, at least at the company. Did he nudge another dancer out and make room for her to audition so he could maneuver me into this role?

I shake the thought from my head. That truly is crazy. I know this guy has a lot of money and a lot of power, but he's not an actual god. Get a grip, Cassia.

“Undress,” he says. “Take everything off. I want you nude except for pointe shoes.”

Even though he's seen me naked, this request startles me and makes me self-conscious. “C-can I warm up first?”

“You can warm up in just the shoes.”

“Leg warmers?” I ask. “Please... Sir... I need...”

“I will allow leg warmers, but just until you're finished with your barre.”

I swallow hard. This man is both completely strange and completely familiar to me. There’s a certain shyness I'm sure I can never overcome until and unless I'm allowed to see this man's face.

I fear I'll never see it. He's a disembodied voice, hands, and cock. A swirl of demands, threats, and promises—interweaving pleasure and pain.

Dark strains of cello music play over the sound system as I take off my clothes. I sit nude on the ground and put my pointe shoes on. I slip the pink leg warmers over them, then rise with all the poise and grace trained into me for two decades, and go to the barre.

I wonder how far away he is. At what angle does he view me? Is there any possible angle of nude pliés that isn't grotesquely lewd? I push past these thoughts and complete the exercises. I wonder if he's stroking himself as he watches