Perfection - Kitty Thomas Page 0,34
space to get ready in. In the middle, connecting the two dressing rooms, is a large lounge. It's reminiscent of a school teacher's lounge in a way or an office break room.
There are tables and a refrigerator and microwave, a counter and a sink. There are a few couches and a large flat screen TV on the wall and a video game console. The other walls are covered in dance posters. I've never seen the inside of this room. It's a perk for the principals.
Natalie shows me to a place of my very own in the women's side of the dressing rooms, and then she takes me out into the hallway to a private space to talk. My heart is in my throat. Is this when the mask slips? Is she going to let the claws out now? Is she going to beat the crap out of me so I can't dance and take this role from her?
Before she can speak, I say, “Natalie, I'm so sorry... I didn't know they would... I had no idea about any of this... that part should be yours.” And it should be.
But she's still smiling—not a fake smile. “Cassia, relax. I'm not mad. You really do deserve this. It hasn't been announced yet, but I'm leaving at the end of the season and moving to another company.”
“But why...?” Maybe she got a better offer. And it's not my business anyway. Natalie Dumas is a fixture here. It seems impossible that she could ever leave.
She shrugs and laughs. “I'm in love. He's a principal at the company I'm joining. Long distance was getting too hard for us. There was finally an opening, and I auditioned a few weeks ago. So yes, I would love to be the firebird—especially with new choreography. But my future isn't here. And yours is.”
“Do the others know yet?”
She shakes her head. “No, I just found out recently. I told the director before the performance last Thursday, and he asked me not to say anything until today. Listen, when I'm gone, you're going to be the queen bee around here.”
I balk at that. That's ridiculous. “But I only just got promoted...”
She shakes her head. “You know that's not how this hierarchy works. You're my replacement. They want you at the top of the company. If they didn't, they wouldn't make you the firebird in the middle of the season. They're making a definite statement with this choice. They didn't tell me this ahead of time, but trust me on this one. You're their new star. So when I leave, I need you to keep the group together. Don't let it devolve into nasty cattiness. This company works better when we all support each other.”
It's a myth that all dancers are vicious competitive assholes to each other. At the same time, people are human, and at some companies, dancers are vicious competitive assholes to each other. But not here, and the reason for that is Natalie.
She continues. “Don't abuse your power. Don't be cruel to any of the dancers. Don't call them out in front of others if you don't absolutely have to.”
“I won't. I would never...”
She nods. “Let's go to the lounge. I need to let the others know I'm leaving. They don't need to hear it from somewhere else and think it's because of you.”
Frederick, the top male principal who normally dances with Natalie, comes over to us when we enter the lounge. I stare at him for a long moment. I know he can't be my tormentor, the man in the private box, because he was on stage dancing during that time.
But I also don't know for sure that my blackmailer actually is the man in the box. That could all just be a fantasy in my head... a story I'm telling myself. But whoever is behind my turn in fate had the money to make up for the lost money from Conall. Even a top principal dancer doesn't make the kind of money to match Conall's contribution. But I don't know Frederick's personal finances. He could be independently wealthy. And I've never really talked to him.
My blackmailer is obviously both a dancer and somebody who knows the Swan Lake choreography. Oh, fuck, what if I'm wrong about the private box? Is Frederick the man I've been meeting and doing things with on the stage of the old opera house every Wednesday? Is this the man I call Sir?
I can't stop the blush at this thought. I want