told her I’d do anything she wanted, but I think she could sense that my heart wasn’t in it or that I’d never be able to deal with it. When she finally told me she was leaving me, I lost it. Just lost it.’ He stopped. Tiff wondered what the hell was coming.
‘I pleaded with her. Told her I couldn’t live without her. Told her she couldn’t live without me.’ He groaned. ‘Jesus, the arrogance of it. The stupidity. It was all pointless, of course, because she’d already made up her mind and knew that the split was the right thing for both of us. It was what she needed and what I needed. The only possible solution.’
Tiff knew when to speak and when to simply let someone pour out their raw emotions and she wasn’t about to stem the flow. She couldn’t imagine this proud, strong man begging anyone for anything. She’d no doubt that he was baring his soul for the first time, and to her. She was moved … and she felt responsible, holding this precious secret in her hands.
‘I’m ashamed I made Amira feel guilty for pursuing her dream for even a second. I’m ashamed I put her in that position by begging her to stay. She left anyway, thank God. Of course, it took a while for me to realise how wrong my actions were. It was a few weeks after she left that I decided to come down here, and months before I had any kind of clarity. I learned something else too. I will never beg anyone else to stay in my life, never try to tie them down, no matter how much I want to be with them, or how much I care. Which is why I want you to go back to London and take this job. Not because I don’t care about you more than you’d probably ever believe, but precisely because I do.’
‘Oh, Dirk. Don’t do this.’
‘Don’t do what? The right thing?’ He laughed. ‘Don’t go all mushy on me now. That’s what I like about you. You don’t do mushy. I’m very proud of you, even though you drive me insane at times. Now, forget I ever said any of that stuff about Amira. I already regret telling you.’
‘Enough. Don’t say any more. This is too painful. It’s worse than I even expected; I can’t stay any longer.’
‘Wait, Tiff.’
‘No. I d-don’t think so. Bye, Dirk. Have a good life.’
She fled out of his cottage, leaving the door open behind her. Thank God she wasn’t wearing those stupid heels like when she’d arrived or she’d have tripped over on the lane. She practically ran back to Marina’s, not risking a glance behind, and slammed the door behind her.
What if he came after her?
Oh God, she couldn’t see him again or her resolve might wobble. She’d definitely make a fool of herself.
But the knock at the door never came.
She tried to look forward to her new opportunity. Not many people got a second chance, especially not one this good. She should embrace it; soon she’d be sucked into her crazy, manic life again and Dirk and Porthmellow and the pain of leaving him would surely fade away …
But he was wrong about one thing: she didn’t love her career more than him. If it were that simple, she’d be able to walk away from this – from him – without feeling that she’d left her soul behind.
Chapter Forty
Even though Tiff had barely been gone for a week, Marina missed her more than she’d ever expected. The house felt as if it knew a vibrant soul had departed from it – which it had. Another part of her life was missing too. The gap left by Lachlan was proving impossible to fill. The fact he lived a few doors away and she inevitably saw him, made things worse. Yet she was still handling the legal fallout – not to mention the emotional betrayal. She was grateful to have a busy term at college to throw herself into, with colleagues to support her, and she could distract herself with the Wave Watchers again, now that she’d resumed her duties.
It had been strange walking into the station a couple of weeks earlier, after so long away. She’d soon picked up the operational side of things but, somehow, being there didn’t feel quite the same.
The wooden hut seemed particularly isolated on this late September afternoon on the very cusp of autumn. It should have