She could never be fully happy with Sebastian, never allow herself to love him as she truly wanted to, all the while knowing Andrew remained under Fairfax’s control.
She gripped the back of a chair and fought not to think of Sebastian, of his determination that they would not approach his father. “My lord, the reason I married your son was to try to regain custody of Andrew. You must understand that I cannot surrender that aim.”
He peered at her again from beneath his black eyebrows, his features set like those of a king studying a vassal. “If that is the reason you married him,” Rushton said, “why did Sebastian marry you?”
“He…he told me you’d expressed a wish that he marry soon.”
“He could have married any number of women soon. Why did he choose you?”
The earl might as well have added, a woman of ordinary means who lives with her uncle in a ramshackle museum and has very little standing left to her?
A sudden pang speared Clara, as she struggled against a powerful longing to reply with her secret wish. Sebastian married me because he wanted to. Because he loves me.
She could not lie to Rushton. Not only because she desperately needed his help, but because he was her father-in-law, and now she could very well pose a threat to the reputation the earl and his family had recently restored.
Clara pressed a hand to her heart and told Rushton about the cipher machine. “Sebastian sought the machine plans for…for Darius, my lord.”
Rushton’s sharp gaze flickered. “Why?”
Clara tried to calm her thoughts. Her very soul felt cleft in two by her desperation to have Andrew back and the intensity of her feelings for her husband.
But never could she allow those feelings to usurp her goal of rescuing Andrew. Everything she had done up until this very moment had been with the intention of reclaiming her son. And if she were to ask Lord Rushton for help, she had to prove herself loyal to him and willing to avoid further scandal.
“Because, my lord,” she said, feeling as if she were standing on the edge of a sharp precipice with no idea what lay at the bottom of it, “Darius wanted to facilitate a meeting between Sebastian and the former Countess of Rushton.”
Shock flashed swift and hard across the earl’s face. “What?”
“Darius knew Sebastian would reject the possibility of a meeting, so he sought to establish the truth of his resignation from Weimar by asking for his help finding the cipher machine plans.”
“And what is the truth of his resignation, Mrs. Hall?”
His question confirmed what Clara had suspected—that Sebastian had not told his family about the difficulty with his hand. Tears stung her eyes.
“He’s suffered a disability in his right hand.” Clara rubbed her thumb against her palm. “He can’t use it anymore. Can no longer play the piano. The former countess suspected something was amiss, which was the reason she wanted to see him.”
“And what was Sebastian’s response?”
“He went to visit her at the Albion Hotel.”
She flinched when Rushton slammed his hand on a table. His face reddened with a flush of ire, his eyes hardening into glass. “When did she return to London?”
“I don’t know, my lord.” She stepped forward and lifted a shaking hand. “I’m telling you because I beg for your help with my son. I must convince my father to return custody of Andrew to me. Lord Fairfax is—”
“Lord Fairfax is the boy’s legal guardian!” Rushton snapped, his spine straightening like a ramrod. “How dare you expect me to interfere in another man’s raising of a child? If your father has banned you from seeing your son, Mrs. Hall, I suspect he has a very good reason for doing so. And if you think I will risk the potential of gossip by intruding in your father’s affairs, then you are sorely mistaken.”
“My lord, please…”
“Mrs. Hall, if I had known this prior to your marriage to Sebastian, I would never have allowed the union to take place,” Rushton said coldly. “I will tolerate no—”
He stopped suddenly, looking toward the foyer. Clara turned. The drawing room door opened. Her heart closed in on itself as Sebastian and Darius stepped in.
Sebastian’s dark gaze skidded from her to his father. Wariness flashed across his features. Even Darius faltered for an instant.
“Sebastian.” The earl’s voice vibrated with barely suppressed anger. “And Darius. I would like a word with you alone. Now.”
“Wait.” Clara hurried toward Sebastian, reaching out a hand to touch his arm. He