“So predictable. If a few celebrities hadn’t gotten involved, it would have died a sudden death.”
“A few celebrities?” he choked. “I had everyone from Kendrick Lamar to Rachel Maddow participating.”
I rolled my eyes. “It was lightning in a bottle.”
“Bullshit. It was a well-thought-out campaign that people loved to participate in,” he said.
“Well thought out?” I leaned back on my heels and crossed my arms over my chest, trying to look down on him, which was not easy, because he was several inches taller than I was. “Who are you kidding? You cooked it up while killing time at some bar for happy hour where the wings and beer were half price.”
He didn’t even look embarrassed. He shrugged and winked at me and said, “Inspiration strikes where it strikes, plus it made millions. How much have you ever managed to wrestle as a major gift? One million? Five million?”
“I’m sorry, are we comparing dick size here?” I asked. “Because I can assure you while my anatomy is different, if it’s a pissing contest you want, I’ll win.”
“Admit it, Martin.” He leaned down so our faces were just inches apart. “You don’t have my reach.”
“Ugh.” I curled my lip. That was it. I was leaving my job. Why was I even speaking to this Neanderthal? I turned on my heel and crossed to the open door of my office. I raised my hands and gestured for him to leave. “I think we’re done here.”
“Is that how you deal with losing a debate?” he asked. He turned to face me. “You just throw the person out?”
“First, this wasn’t a debate. It was a waste of fifteen minutes of my life that I’ll never get back,” I said.
I reached forward and grabbed his arm, pulling him toward the door. Normally, I would never touch another employee, as I was hyperaware of the rules put forth by our human resources person, Michelle Fernando, who was downright scary, about encroaching on my colleagues’ personal space, but at the moment, I had no fucks left to give. If Jason Knightley didn’t leave my office right now, I was going to put my foot in his backside and kick him out the door.
“Second, I’m not throwing you out but merely assisting your overly swollen head through the doorway so that it doesn’t get stuck,” I said.
“Aw, sweet.” Jason chuckled as I propelled him forward. In an innuendo-laden voice, he wagged his eyebrows and asked, “So, you like my big frontal lobe?”
“Get. Out.” I gave him a firm but what I hoped would be construed as friendly—it wasn’t—shove through the opening. I stepped back and grabbed the door, slamming it in his face. Then I huffed out an exasperated breath, trying to find my Zen.
“I take it that’s a no on the sexy frontal lobe?” he called through the door.
In spite of myself, my lips twitched.
chapter five
IT TOOK ME every second of the following week to clear my desk and pack, but I did it. On the day of my departure, my plan had been to catch an Uber to the airport and leave with as little fuss as possible, but Annabelle insisted that she would take me. Which proved to be a big, fat lie when my father pulled up in front of my apartment in his dadmobile, an ancient green Subaru station wagon that Annabelle and I had been begging him to sell for at least a decade. Despite the peeling paint, rumbling muffler, and general air of exhaustion about the vehicle, he refused.
He bounced out of the driver’s seat and circled the hood, coming to meet me on the steps, where I stood, looking for Annabelle’s sleek BMW, which was supposed to be my airport ride.
“Dad, what are you doing here?” I asked.
“We wanted to give you our full support,” he said.
“We?” I glanced at the car just as Annabelle popped out of the back seat and Sheri got out of the front. What was she doing here?
“Oh,” I said. I was instantly uncomfortable. This should have been me saying goodbye to my family, and despite this crazy impending marriage to my father, Sheri was not family. She never would be. Not wanting to have any drama when I really needed to get to the airport, I forced my lips up at the corners and said, “Great.”
Dad stuffed my suitcase into the back of the station wagon, and we all piled back into the car, with me and Annabelle in back and Dad and Sheri up