siphon on the table by her bed and he got her a glass of water. He brought it to her and held the glass while she drank. She noticed how thin his hand was, it was a fine hand, slender, with long fingers, but now it was nothing but skin and bone; it trembled a little; he could control his face, but his hand betrayed him.
"Don't mind my crying," she said. "It's nothing really; it's only that I can't help the water running out of my eyes."
She drank the water and he put the glass back. He sat down on a chair and lit a cigarette. He gave a little sigh. Once or twice before she had heard him sigh like that and it always gave her a catch at the heart. Looking at him now, for he was staring with abstracted gaze out of the window, she was surprised that she had not noticed before how terribly thin he had grown during the last weeks. His temples were sunken and the bones of his face showed through the skin. His clothes hung on him loosely as though they had been made for a larger man. Through his sunburn his face had a greenish pallor. He looked exhausted. He was working too hard, sleeping little, and eating nothing. In her own grief and perturbation she found room to pity him. It was cruel to think that she could do nothing for him.
He put his hand over his forehead, as though his head were aching, and she had a feeling that in his brain too those words hammered madly:
I don't know, I don't know. It was strange that this moody, cold, and shy man should have such a natural affection for very little babies; most men didn't care much even for their own, but the nuns, touched and a little amused, had more than once spoken of it. If he felt like that about those funny little Chinese babies what would he have felt about his own? Kitty bit her lips in order to prevent herself from crying again.
He looked at his watch.
"I'm afraid I must go back to the city. I have a great deal to do to-day?Shall you be all right?"
"Oh, yes. Don't bother about me."
"I think you'd better not wait for me this evening. I may be very late and I'll get something to eat from Colonel Y #252;."
"Very well."
He rose.
"If I were you, I wouldn't try to do anything to-day. You'd better take it easy. Is there anything you want before I go?"
"No, thanks. I shall be quite all right."
He paused for an instant, as though he were undecided, and then, abruptly and without looking at her, took his hat and walked out of the room. She heard him go through the compound. She felt terribly alone. There was no need for self-restraint now and she gave herself up to a passion of tears.
LVII
THE night was sultry and Kitty sat at the window looking at the fantastic roofs, dark against the starlight, of the Chinese temple, when at last Walter came in. Her eyes were heavy with weeping, but she was composed. Notwithstanding all there was to harass her she felt, perhaps only from exhaustion, strangely at peace.
"I thought you'd be already in bed," said Walter as he came in.
"I wasn't sleepy. I thought it cooler to sit up. Have you had any dinner?"
"All I want."
He walked up and down the long room and she saw that he had something to say to her. She knew that he was embarrassed. Without concern she waited for him to summon up his resolution. He began abruptly.
"I've been thinking about what you told me this afternoon. It seems to me that it would be better if you went away. I have spoken to Colonel Y #252; and he will give you an escort. You could take the amah with you. You will be quite safe."
"Where is there for me to go?"
"You can go to your mother's."
"Do you think she would be pleased to see me?"
He paused for a moment, hesitating, as though for reflexion.
"Then you can go to Hong Kong."
"What should I do there?"
"You will need a good deal of care and attention. I don't think it's fair to ask you to stay here."
She could not prevent the smile, not only of bitterness but of frank amusement, that crossed her face. She gave him a glance and very nearly laughed.
"I don't know why you should be so