stopped in front of the house, he paid and glanced out at it. It was everything that Karson and Lacey wanted, full of love and happiness. He wanted this. He wanted it so damn bad, he could taste it. Getting out, he noticed that Karson was sitting on the porch, Mena Jane in his lap. Groaning inwardly, he wasn’t sure he could do another drag-out with Karson. His heart was still pounding in his chest. The look of such pain in Kacey’s eyes haunted him. He couldn’t deal with his best friend breaking up with him too.
He wanted to go to the side door, but he felt that would make him a coward. Before he could make the decision though, Karson hollered out at him.
“How’s your face?” Karson’s lip curved up as he slowly danced in the chair with Mena.
Jordie didn’t feel like laughing, but he did as he headed toward Karson, brushing his fingers along his swollen lip. It hurt, but it was nothing compared to what he was feeling inside. “Sore.”
“Good,” Karson decided as Jordie sat next to him. He reached over, taking Mena from Karson and kissing her head.
“For protection,” he teased and Karson scoffed.
“I’m not gonna hit you again,” he said but then paused. “But I’m not saying sorry either, like Lacey told me to.”
“Wouldn’t expect you to. I deserved it.”
Karson nodded. “Why didn’t you just tell me? Why did you hide the truth like that? I asked you if it was serious and you laughed me off.”
“Because I didn’t want it to be serious. If it was serious, then that meant I could hurt her.”
“But you still hurt her,” Karson said, wringing his fingers together. “And I really don’t understand why you’d do that. I thought you cared about her.”
“I do. I love her, man,” he said, and Karson’s eyes widened. “I do, but I wasn’t thinking right. I didn’t want to feel what she made me feel because I didn’t think what she wanted was in my cards.” He leaned down, kissing the top of Mena’s little head. “It still may not be in my cards, but I’ve decided I want it to be. I want your life, bro. I want the wife, the kids, the happiness. I’m done being lonely and drunk and living because I have to. I want to live for something. For someone and for myself.”
Leaning on his knees, Karson shook his head as he looked over at Jordie. “Man, bro, I want to be mad at you, I want to slam my fist in your face, but I just feel for you. For so long you held all this in. I mean, I knew you were a jackass and drank too much, but man, you’ve been living with all this shit just suffocating you. Why couldn’t you reach out? We would have helped.”
Jordie shrugged. “Seems to be the question of the day.”
“Huh?”
“Kacey and I talked today. I told her everything, asked for another chance.”
“And she said?”
“That she needed time to think,” he said softly, his lips dusting the top of Mena’s head.
“Are you gonna be okay if she doesn’t give it to you?”
Jordie nodded. “Not at first, but I won’t go back to the way I was. I almost didn’t make it back then, and I refuse to allow myself to go back to that,” he admitted, thinking of the many times he’d thought about just ending it all. It went all the way back to his teen years. He’d always hit those low points and had never had anyone to lift him back up. That was why he’d never taken what Kacey was offering, because he’d never had it before and didn’t know how to ask for help. “But, I honestly need you in my life, so if you need to swing on me to feel better, please do.”
Karson scoffed then, grasping Jordie’s shoulder. “I’m good, bro, just don’t lie to me ever again.”
“No problem,” he promised.
“And about Kacey, Lacey told me she really loves you. If you continue being the man you are now, then I’m good with you being with her.”
Jordie smiled. “I won’t just be with her, Karson. I’ll want to marry her.”
Karson nodded, biting his lip as his fingers locked together before he turned to look at Jordie. “And I’ll stand beside you at the wedding. Like I always have.”
There was no one else like Karson, and Jordie sure as hell had done nothing to warrant a friend like him. Karson was a good