as Ma Bell. Was a monopoly until very recently. Of course, Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone while he was in Nova Scotia, Canada.
3 Every Canadian government bill begins with the letter C.
4 Much, much worse than the postal service of our kind neighbors to the south.
5 It is a law that Canada Post can deliver all the junk mail they want, and no one can stop them. They deposit in every mailbox, often regardless of stickers requesting otherwise.
6 No, metric isn’t dead yet. But there are a lot of people up here who would like to see it go away. Many miles away.
7 Healthcare is what most Canadians think defines the difference between them and Americans.
8 No more home delivery to new subdivisions, just to big boxes that stand on the street so you can get it on the way home.
9 The people who broke Ma Bell’s monopoly.
10 Places with “American” or “Cheesecake” in the name are cyclically very popular where I live.
11 The Canadian Radio and Telecommunications Commission. Sort of like the FCC.
12 Go back to the story. I explain who they were right after this footnote.
13 For decades, the voice of Hockey Night in Canada on CBC Radio and then TV. The man who came up with that most important of Canadian phrases, “He shoots, he scores!”
14 Rene Levesque was the first separatist Premier of Quebec. The party he lead, the Parti Quebecois, came back to power in 1994, looking for a way to break up the country. They almost succeeded at the end of 1995, and vow to try again.
15 The Sports Network. Canadian version of ESPN.
16 The Canadian Football League. Three downs, 110-yard field, 15-yard end-zones. The CFL has expanded into the US, and the Stallions, at the time with Baltimore and calling themselves the Cs (because Colts was owned by the NFL) came this close to winning the Grey Cup in 1994.
17 Currently the Calgary Stampeders, but a threat of moving the team has been made.
18 A BBC show that runs on CBC Newsworld (sort of like CNN) every Sunday afternoon.
19 What was probably the longest-running show on Canadian TV; ran for around thirty years. A bunch of journalists sat around and tried to guess who the mystery guest was. They were given a few clues and then asked the guest questions. And people think Japanese TV is tough to figure out.
20 British Columbia Television. Currently a government-owned channel used for educational and more high-brow purposes.
21 Famous Canadian actor. Really.
22 A TV mini-network based in Toronto.
23 Once-big Canadian comedians. Made more appearances on Ed Sullivan than any other guest. Many are proud of that bit of trivia, which is really sad when you think about it.
24 Head gear for winter. Sort of like watch caps.
25 Well, actually Molson Canadian. Currently.
26 Famous beer from Atlantic Canada.
27 This all refers to Bob and Doug MacKenzie, as played by Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas.
28 TV Ontario. Ontario’s version of BCTV.
29 Bob and Doug’s movie. A classic.
30 Famous routine where Mounties ride their horses and carry pikes, all to music and in formation. Also, the Mounties recently signed a deal with Disney to be the only authorized purveyor of the Mountie image world-wide. One pictures RCMP members collaring drug dealers in formation and to swelling music from cartoon classics.
31 Famous Canadian impersonator.
32 Métis rebel from 19th century. Hanged for treason.
33 Referring the War of 1812, where Canadians like to point out they handily kicked U.S. butt. Few, if any, point out that Canada didn’t actually exist until 1867.
Frail Orbits
I didn’t sleep well. Pressing crowds of people dominated my dreams and nightmares. The noise of the crush of hundreds of thousands drifting up from the streets below our windows colored what little sleep I did get.
Daytime now, and I stumble through my routines, breathing easier now that everyone hides from an almost pathological fear of skin cancer. The only sounds from the streets are machinery and vehicles, all far away.
The sun’s rays drift through the blinds, casting harsh lines on the hardwood floor. Dust raised by my sweeping floats through the light, thousands and millions of motes all orbiting each other, fashioning rough ellipses as they slowly circle to the floor, gravity wrestling them to earth, or spiraling crazily upwards with unseen currents of air.
I stick the broom under an old radiator, pull some king-size dust bunnies out, then lean the handle against the wall and limp over to the table where the others are gathered. Jason eases his