seemed genuinely fond of her. “Do you feel that if you did move on, you would be betraying her?”
He nodded. “I suspect you feel the same. But that isn’t why you followed me to my house today, is it?”
“No. I saw you coming out of Jon’s workshop the other day. You know him.” Earl Ray nodded. “I need to know where he’s been, how he ended up here, if what I believe in my heart could possibly be true.”
“Why don’t you ask him?”
“Because I’m a stranger to him. There is no recognition in his eyes at all,” she said, her heart breaking as she admitted it. “I’ve always believed that he was hurt badly and walked away from the explosion not knowing who he was. It happened to others. Why not to Danny? But I guess I also believed that once he saw me...”
Earl Ray nodded. “You’ve seen the burn on his face and neck? I can understand how that might convince you that he’s your husband. Don’t get me wrong. There’s a lot to be said about seeing the soul through the eyes.” He fell silent for a moment. “It sounds to me as if you’re at crossroads right now. Your fiancé is promising you a shiny new future, while Jon... Even if he is your first husband, he doesn’t remember you or your past together. He might never remember. It goes without saying that he’s not the same man you knew. Nor are you the same woman.”
Kate heard the truth in his words. “I’ve said the same thing to myself, but how can I leave believing that he’s Danny, believing that he needs me and just doesn’t know it? Did Jon ever tell you anything about his past?”
“I’m sorry. You’ve met him. He’s not much of a talker.”
“Neither was Danny. But surely he mentioned something when he arrived here.”
Earl Ray shook his head. “The man keeps his own counsel. Keeps to himself. All I know is that he arrived here early summer about five years ago. He seemed down on his luck and needing a place to light for a while. Seemed honest enough. Mabel Aldrich helped him out, the rest of us did what we could. Frankly, I’m surprised he’s stayed as long as he has. There’s something about him, a restlessness. I wouldn’t be surprised if he moved on sooner than later, especially if he feels crowded.”
She started, hearing the warning in his words. “You’re suggesting that he would leave to get away from me?”
“Maybe not you, exactly. But maybe his past? I hate to even bring this up, but if we’re being honest with each other here, let’s say Jon is your husband. You said the day of the explosion that he was working two jobs and you two were just barely scraping by. He was just a kid himself with two little babies and a wife to take care of. Maybe he saw a way out and just walked away that day and has regretted it ever since. That would be a hell of a lot of guilt to live with. Not sure most men would stand under the weight of it.”
It wasn’t the first time that she’d considered this. She’d heard stories of several men who had done just that after the explosion. She’d just never admitted it was a possibility because it was not like Danny. But if that was what had happened, that he’d walked away on the spur of the moment and then could never come back, then she could understand it tearing him apart inside. “Thank you,” she said and rose to leave.
“I’m not saying Jon did that. In fact, I highly doubt it from what I do know of him. He’s an honorable man, but even honorable men make bad decisions, ones they regret for a lifetime.”
She nodded, desperately fighting tears.
“I didn’t mean to upset you,” Earl Ray said quickly, also getting to his feet.
“No, you haven’t. I’ve lived with all of this for almost twenty years. I have my own guilt. I know how hard he was working back then. The day he... The day of the explosion, he hadn’t wanted to go to work. He’d said he wasn’t feeling well, but it was payday, and we needed that check.” Her voice broke. “I encouraged him to go.” She touched the chain at her throat. “It wasn’t until I got the call later that day about the explosion that I found his wedding ring in the bathroom