Only Her Smokejumper Firefighter - Cami Checketts Page 0,30
that?”
Mavyn was miserable. Divine intervention had saved her on that snowy road from that scary James guy. The good Lord had sent Ren to rescue her and what did she do to thank Him or Ren? She made up a story to Ren about what happened with her and Bruce to protect herself. The lie had slipped out much easier than the truth ever would. She wanted to hang her head and cry.
Instead of admitting her omission, she got fired up. She stood and paced to the kitchen. She drank the rest of her Propel and then threw the bottle away.
Ren stood next to the couch and asked cautiously, “Are you okay?”
Dang him for being so good. She kept proving herself unworthy of him and what did he do? He acted even nicer to her. She swallowed and shook her head, clasping her arms tightly around her chest.
“Ren, you’ve been so great to me, but I still feel like there’s this canyon between us.” A canyon created by her not sharing everything with him and her refusal to trust in heavenly help, even though she’d seen evidence that it was real.
His eyes grew wary and the muscles in his arms were taut. “What do you mean?”
“I can’t just change overnight to be some believer. I’m not like you and Cora who have this simplistic faith.”
“The little I know about Cora is that she lost both of her parents in a car wreck at nineteen and yet she’s chosen to turn to God, to believe.”
Mavyn felt even more miserable. She wasn’t trying to mock him or Cora, but she needed distance from him. She couldn’t keep hiding her past from him, but she couldn’t force herself to tell him the truth either. She was being torn apart inside.
“I’ve been through my share of hard things,” he said, “and have chosen to believe as well. I don’t think that’s ‘simplistic.’”
“Sorry.” She bit at her cheek. “All I’m trying to say is I know God answered my prayers earlier today and He sent me you.”
He nodded.
“But I can’t just change overnight. I don’t know that I can be the woman you want me to be.” She looked at his handsome face and finished dejectedly. “Maybe I should just go.”
A muscle ticked in Ren’s jaw, clamped tight as if he was barely staying in control. That wasn’t true. Ren seemed to have more self-control than anyone she knew.
“It sounds to me like you’re running again.”
Mavyn stared at him. She’d told him she was done running. Apparently she’d lied about more than one thing. Cora always claimed Mavyn was “too honest” and couldn’t “tell a tall tale” if she tried. Even her best friend didn’t know what Mavyn was capable of. Cora and Quill had been injured by a diva named Kris Bellissima. Mavyn had promised herself and Cora that she would take that woman out, but at the moment, she felt like a bigger fake and jerk than Kris.
She needed to come clean. She had to tell Ren the truth. Unable to meet his blue gaze any longer, she looked out at the icy lake.
If she told Ren what kind of a person she truly was … he’d probably tell her to run.
Chapter Seven
Ren’s heart thudded painfully against his ribcage. The muscles in his neck and back were so tight he was getting a headache. He’d thought he and Mavyn were truly connecting and then what happened? She made fun of his faith and tried to push him away. He prayed for help, but he was too angry to get any sort of soft whisper from the Spirit.
He stormed toward her. She stood her ground, her green eyes studying him with a wariness that didn’t seem to have anything to do with his frustration. She was hiding something from him. He knew it, but he didn’t know how to get her to share. He didn’t want to force anything out of her. She wasn’t one of his men or a new recruit he could demand fall into line.
All he wanted was for her to trust and love him. Was that too much? Maybe. He suddenly realized the depth of what he was asking of her. She’d been damaged by her dad, that Bruce loser, and her pastor as an impressionable teenager. It might take more time than he wanted to think about right now to truly gain her trust.
He took a deep breath, pushed away his natural warrior instincts, and gently cupped her face