those words aren’t coming out of my mouth.
My sister Holly asked me to meet her for lunch. I haven’t seen her in over a week because she was out of the country on a business trip with her hot boss. She claims he’s a grade-A+ certified Grinch, but she also texted me while they were on that business trip and told me she slept with him so she’s either a terrible judge of character or she’s got a thing for assholes.
I mean, obviously she was lying to herself. Or confused. I wonder if that’s genetic? It’s slightly mollifying to know I’m not the only screwup in love. The thing is, those Disney movies made it look a lot easier than it is. If I were in a Disney movie, Knockoff Teddy would simply reappear with a glass slipper and I’d be the only girl in Reindeer Falls who wore a size eight in glass slippers and that’d be that.
“With Nick,” Holly continues. “I really messed up, but I fixed it. You can fix this too, Noel.”
“Um, big difference, Holly, you knew where to find Nick. I don’t know where to find Knockoff Teddy.”
I’ve already told her the entire sad, sordid tale.
Wait though.
Knockoff Teddy is kinda like Prince Charming in the Cinderella story. You know, if Cinderella and Prince Charming had had a really sexy tryst before Cindy ran off? And then Cindy realized she was an idiot for running away so she went back and apologized instead of making Prince Charming search the entire kingdom for her.
Except Cinderella knew who Prince Charming was and knew where she could find him on account of attending the ball at his castle.
So this is really nothing like that. The point is, I could search for Knockoff Teddy.
If I could get a picture from Saturday, I could ask around, see if anyone knows who he is. Then I could track him down and apologize and ask him if he wants to kiss again.
“I’ve gotta go,” I announce to Holly, already rising from my seat.
“Uh, where?” Holly looks unimpressed. I can’t really blame her, we met at the North Pole Café for lunch and she’s not even done with her sandwich yet. But now that I realize what I need to do I can’t waste any more time.
“I’m going to find Knockoff Teddy. Wish me luck!”
The first thing I do is run down to the Reindeer Falls Photo Studio. They’re the photographers we used for photos with Santa at the Library. I just need to get a picture of Knockoff Teddy and show it around. Sure, it’s not ideal that he’s got a fake beard taped to his face in these photos, and a fake Santa belly. And a hat. And the Santa glasses. But surely someone will recognize him under all that. It’s Christmas, after all, and anything is possible at Christmas.
Getting the photo is a bit trickier than I anticipated. Apparently photo studios think it’s weird when tell them you’re there to pick up a photo of Santa and you don’t particularly care which kid is in the photo.
I know, I should have thought that through before going in.
Photo secured, I race over to the library. The photographer was a bust, by the way. He had no idea who Santa was.
Neither does the librarian.
Nor does the butcher, the baker or the candlestick maker. No, really. I ask Tom, the town butcher. And my sister Ginger, the baker. And then I stop by the Jack Frost Candle Company and ask the girl working the register.
No one knows.
It’s possibly the most embarrassing afternoon of my life.
Admittedly the photo isn’t a lot to go on. It’s harder than you’d think to identify someone wearing a disguise. Or maybe it’s exactly as hard as you’d think.
I even circle back to the North Pole Café to ask if they remember me being in over the weekend and if anyone knows who I was with. No and no. That conversation is even more awkward than it sounds.
Finding Knockoff Teddy is going to require a Christmas miracle.
Chapter 10
“I heard you had a nice weekend.”
I look up to find Mrs Carrington grinning at me. It’s bridge day for the seniors’ club at the community center and I, for one, am relieved.
Relieved because surely Mrs Carrington is not about to make a joke about my banging Santa.
Surely.
Unlike everyone else in my life.
Having sisters is both a blessing and a curse. Sure, they’re always there for you. But they’re always there to mock