One Moment Please (Wait With Me #3) - Amy Daws Page 0,110
gesture is here!” Kate’s face morphs as she jabs her finger into my chest and narrows her eyes. “You better have a big-ass speech ready, or I will drop to my knees and junk punch you so hard you won’t get an erection for a month.”
I hold my hands up in surrender, and then my attention is diverted when Lynsey appears behind Kate.
She wears floral pajama pants and a pink camisole, way too beautiful to be so far away from me right now.
“Can we talk?” I ask as she steps closer to the door.
She shoots a nervous look at Kate who rubs her arm encouragingly. With a deep sigh, she steps onto the large front porch. The yellow sconce light casts a dim glow over us in the middle of this hot, summer night.
I glance at Lynsey’s belly, itching to touch it as I hesitantly ask, “How are you?”
“I’m fine.” She rubs her arms and moves by me to stand in front of the porch swing.
“Are you cold?” I ask, hooking my thumb toward the door. “We can go inside.”
She shakes her head. “I’m hot all the time lately.”
“Hormones,” I state by way of explanation.
She pulls her lower lip into her mouth and chews on it. “What did you want to talk about?”
“Us.” I shrug my shoulders. “I miss you, Jones. I miss you like crazy.”
Her cheeks puff as she blows a deep breath out of her mouth. “I miss you too, Josh, but—
“But,” I interject, moving to stand in front of her. My hands itch to hold her. My tongue craves the taste of her mouth. My body is desperate to feel her against me. “But I was a fucking dick.”
She nods sadly. “Major dick.”
“Dr. Dick,” I add in hopes of making her smile.
She doesn’t smile. “None of this is funny, Josh.”
“I know, and I didn’t come here to make light of this. I came here to win you back.”
“It’s not going to be that easy, Josh. I want more than what we were before. I’m in love with you, like crazy in love with you, and I don’t want this fractured version of you. I want all of you—the good and bad. I want you to deal with your past. It’s why I called John Hopkins nineteen times until I got in touch with Kayla, who’s really freaking hard to get in contact with, by the way.”
“Why were you trying to get ahold of Kayla?”
“Because I wanted to get ahold of Mark. You need to talk to him and deal with your past demons.”
“Wait…what?” I ask, my voice lodging in my throat. “It was you who got Mark to come see me?”
Her brows lift in surprise. “Mark came to see you?”
“Yes.” I laugh. “He showed up at the ER to talk to me last night.”
“I didn’t know,” Lynsey replies, blinking curiously up at me. “Kayla said she’d make some calls. She never told me what happened.”
My heart soars for the woman in front of me who hasn’t given up on me yet. Now I want to show her that it’s not for nothing.
“I brought you something.” I dig into my back pocket and retrieve the letter from Mark I received over a year ago. The letter I found in the rubble of the nursery. The letter I was too afraid to open because of the words it may contain. “I want you to read this.” I press the letter into her hands. “I haven’t opened it because it holds such a dark part of my past. A past that I thought I could erase by changing myself and compartmentalizing everyone I care about into a safe, unattached space. But my past is a part of me, and you’re a part of me, and this baby is a part of me. I don’t want any more secrets, Jones.”
I touch her belly, and she sucks in a shaky breath. I pull back because I don’t want to gaslight her with affection. I want her to make her own decision based on her own mind. She deserves that respect.
“I realized this past week without you that I’m not even fucking living if I’m not with you. I want your big, bright crazy light in my life.”
“Josh—”
“Just read this letter. Please. I haven’t opened it. I don’t even know what it says. It’s probably terrible, but if you can accept the terrible parts of me, then maybe we have a chance at the end of all of this.”