– until she reached one of her standing on the footbridge.
‘There it is,’ she said with wonder, as if remembering what she had been seeking.
Thandi peered at it. The girl looked prettier than she was in real life, standing with her knee cocked and that prismatic halo around her – the rainbow unchecked by a horizon, free to make a full circle. Thandi had hurried through that rainbow herself only a month ago, too nervous about the slippery footbridge to pause until Scholie had put his arms around her and made her look. Thandi wondered for the first time if there was some justice in the choice that he had made at the bonfire. She opened the food warmer again and heaved, but nothing came up.
‘Are you sure you’re not sick?’ the girl asked as she stroked Thandi’s back.
‘I’m fine,’ Thandi said impatiently, spitting into the warmer. ‘I just drank a lot last night.’
‘Oh, I thought you had malaria or something!’ The girl tapped the tip of Thandi’s nose. Her finger smelled of dead cigarettes. ‘I know the feeling. I had a rough night at that bonfire last week.’
‘I know. I was there,’ Thandi said shortly, surprising herself. She had assumed she would play out this farce until they reached Lusaka.
‘Wait, you were?’ The girl burst out laughing. ‘Wait, of course, I thought I recognised—’
For a moment, relief bubbled up through Thandi.
‘You know what?’ The girl scrutinised her, then nodded firmly. ‘I just remembered. Your braids! I loved the red then too! I’ve been wanting to get mine done like that. Do you know—’
‘I didn’t have plaits that night. I came with Scholie?’ Thandi said pointedly. They exchanged a look.
‘Wait. You’re not with Scholie, are you?’ The way the girl said his name was off, the ‘o’ a little too long, the ‘l’ too liquid. Thandi was tempted to lie but she smiled reassuringly.
‘No. Don’t worry. He tried, but.’
‘Oh, okay,’ the girl breathed, relieved. She cocked her head with a knowing smile. ‘He must have been hard to resist. I mean, I was super drunk but that dude was super persuasive.’
Thandi had a flash of memory: two backs hunching to enter a tent. She looked out the window again. The last thing she wanted was a chat with her new mate about Scholie’s persuasive moves – she wasn’t inclined to confess that a rush of air to the eye was the closest she and Scholie had ever got. Outside the coach, the clouds were soft skirts pleated with slanting light. Concrete buildings slid by on Great North Road, iconic pictures advertising their purposes: carpentry, coal, hair-dressing, drink. The side of the road thickened with people: pedestrians, women selling tomatoes stacked in pyramids, men on bicycles warping under firewood.
‘So you heard the stories at the bonfire then?’ The girl’s voice sounded tight.
Thandi turned wearily. ‘Yes. I was there.’
The girl was staring at the seatback in front of her. Her cheeks were pink, but that might have been the setting sun coming in through the window. ‘So you heard mine then. Yeah, that was a pretty shitty night.’ She paused. ‘You know, I was so drunk. And I really thought he was dying.’ Her voice cracked. It was like she was pleading, explaining something to a jury. ‘It was so sad. And I felt like all he wanted was to be touched, you know? Like, held with love. Like, touched in that way.’
Thandi didn’t know what to do with her face. What was this girl saying?
‘He didn’t say anything but I could tell, you know? From his hands and his eyes. I tried to say no, I was whispering so I wouldn’t wake up the boy, but he didn’t get it. He just kept touching my hair and face. And then he put my hand on him. I thought he was dying, you know? And I felt like I could give him this, like – gift. I thought if I touched him the way he wanted me to, he would understand. How sorry I was.’ The girl turned to Thandi. She looked thin and torn. ‘And I was right,’ she said. ‘He did.’
The girl’s face was so close, Thandi could see the whites of her eyes, the jagged red lines in them. She wondered how old she was, this woman she kept thinking of as ‘the girl’. Thandi had always thought of sex as an exchange – of love or power – or a prize to hold over someone or withhold from