Not You It's Me (Boston Love #1) - Julie Johnson Page 0,71

one they grew up in, and the cycle restarts.”

“You left.”

I nod. “That life… it wasn’t for me. I knew that before I was old enough to put it into words.”

“None of the boys in town caught your eye?” he asks, his tone playful. “No high school sweethearts tempted you to stay?”

I know he’s trying to keep things light, but I can’t. Looking at him just reminds me of the fact that no one’s ever temped me… not like he has, at least.

“No,” I whisper to the waves. “I’ve never been in love.”

He’s silent, absorbing my heavy words like the sea did my stone, and I continue before he can speak.

“I mean, sure, I’ve known love. I’ve loved — my mom, my friends, my work. And they’ve loved me in return. But I’ve never been in love.” My voice drops so low, I doubt he can hear my next words. “I’m not even sure I believe in it.”

Chase is silent for so long, I don’t think he’s going to speak at all. When he finally responds, he says something I’m not expecting.

“I have.” He clears his throat. “Been in love, that is.”

I try — and fail — to ignore the irrational pang of hurt and jealously his words send shooting through my chest.

“At least, I thought it was love, at the time,” he continues. “I was young. Twenty-three, fresh out of college. Grandfather had retired, by then, given control of the company to Jameson.”

“Your uncle?” I ask, recalling Shelby’s Croft-family-tree lesson a few days ago.

Chase hesitates a beat. “Yes.”

I don’t see him move, but I feel him take a step closer.

“Jameson placed me in charge of one of our New York subsidiaries. It was my first real shot at proving myself and, in all honesty, I was terrified I’d fuck it up. That’s when I met Vanessa.”

I sneak a glance at him out of the corner of my eye and see his jaw is clenched tight.

“There was so much pressure at work — it was nice to have someone there, someone who was fun, someone who just wanted to party and blow off all the responsibilities piling up around me.” His hands fist by his sides. “It wasn’t long before she had me blowing off business meetings and coming in late, still hungover from the night before. The drinking was just for fun, at first, but then… it spiraled into something more. Something darker. And before I knew it, I’d been arrested for a DUI, brought to court facing assault charges for punching out a paparazzo while I was loaded one night, and out of the job I’d worked so hard for. Jameson gave Brett my position at the company.”

His voice gets so low, so pained, I forget to be angry or jealous, and without thinking, I reach my hand out for his. At first, when our bare skin brushes, his fist stays tightly clenched, not accepting my touch. Still, I don’t pull back, and after a few seconds, I feel his grip relax as he lets my fingers twine with his.

“I should’ve known, then, that Brett had orchestrated it, but I was too lost — in the booze, in the rebellion, in her.” He swallows hard, and I move my thumb across the back of his hand in soothing strokes. “I’d lost everything — my pride, my job, my self-respect — which only made me hold on tighter to the one thing I had left.”

I squeeze his fingers. “Vanessa.”

He nods, still not looking at me. “She suggested we get married. By that point, I was drunk more often than not and I would’ve agreed to just about anything, if I thought it might give my life some meaning again. So, I put a ring on her finger.” He takes a deep breath. “Two weeks later, I was out for a run one afternoon, in the park. It started snowing, so I headed home early.”

I squeeze his hand in mine, sensing his unease.

“I remember walking in, seeing the clothes scattered everywhere — her bra on the stairs, her underwear lying there in the hallway, the man’s jacket dropped on the threshold to my bedroom.” His fingers flex against mine. “She was in bed with Brett.”

I gasp.

“He’d been fucking her the whole time.” His voice is utterly flat, empty of emotion. “She was just part of his plan, to derail my life. And it worked.”

Scattered puzzle pieces in my mind start to snap into place, creating sense where before there was only